Cloud Atlas (2012)

Cloud Atlas (2012)

Directed by: Tom Tykwer, Andy Wachowski, and Lana Wachowski
Screenplay by: Tom Tykwer, Andy Wachowski, and Lana Wachowski

Genre: Drama | Mystery | Sci-Fi
Running Time: 172 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Everything is connected.

[IMDb]

Comments: One of the things I've come to enjoy is using subtitles while watching movies. I feel that I catch so much more by reading everything that's going on. To be honest, if I didn't live in an apartment, I probably would just crank the sucker up so I could hear everything. But since I'm a considerate neighbor, subtitles have become the way to go. And boy, I would have loved to have subtitles for Cloud Atlas.

Cloud Atlas is a pretty fascinating film. You'd think dividing six loosely connected stories over the course of three hours could become a colossal clusterfuck, but the film is constructed rather wonderfully. While this unfortunately doesn't make it a masterpiece, Cloud Atlas is a great piece of filmmaking that held my attention during its long runtime (I did get a tad restless at times). My main complaint was not being able to understand what characters were saying at times. Many characters during the various time periods speak in heavy accents (this is most noticeable during the final storyline where borderline gibberish is spoken), and I would have given anything to hit the subtitle button on my remote to fully understand the movie. As it stands, I guess I'll have to wait until the Blu-ray is released to watch in the comfort of my own apartment.

There's a nice assortment of actors in Cloud Atlas, most notably Tom Hanks and Halle Berry, but I'd be remiss not to mention Jim Broadbent. Broadbent owns this movie. Anytime he's onscreen, Cloud Atlas just springs to life.

Cloud Atlas is the type of the film that I feel will become more rewarding with multiple viewings (with the subtitles on). While I'm not super eager to jump back into this three-hour extravaganza, I can only imagine my appreciation for the film will grow. Definitely check it out if you're interested.

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011)

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011)

Directed by: Sean Durkin
Screenplay by: Sean Durkin

Genre: Drama | Thriller
Running Time: 102 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

[IMDb]

Comments: This was really good.

Red Lights (2012)

Red Lights (2012)

Directed by: Rodrigo Cortés
Screenplay by: Rodrigo Cortés

Genre: Drama | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 113 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

How much do you want to believe?

[IMDb]

Comments: Red Lights is certainly a flawed film, but I can't deny that I was captivated by the story. I hadn't even heard of the movie until I saw it for sale at Best Buy (which should tell you overall how a film starring Robert De Niro and Cillian Murphy was received), so I went home and did a little digging and figured out that yes, Red Lights probably wasn't very good. But then I saw it for sale again at Target... and it had a pretty slipcover... and I was doomed.

Listen, Red Lights isn't great. But if you dig the premise, as I did, and you like some of the awesome talent Rodrigo Cortés recruited (Sigourney Weaver, Elizabeth Olsen, and Toby Jones, in addition to the two above), then I advise you to at least check it out. You may see that it has tremendous room for improvement, as I did, but you may also find that it was a pretty damn decent film... as I also did.

Policewomen (1974)

Policewomen (1974)

Directed by: Lee Frost
Screenplay by: Lee Frost and Wes Bishop

Genre: Action | Crime | Drama
Running Time: 77 Minutes (Edited Cut)
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

Cold steel on the outside... all woman on the inside!

[IMDb]

Comments: The Netflix version of Policewomen is FUCKING EDITED. I likely wouldn't have even finished the film had I realized, but I was halfway done before I noticed they were censoring the language. And how dare you expect me to watch a movie with the boobs cut out?

Anyway, Policewomen itself is a highly entertaining yet completely terrible film. The acting is hysterically awful, and the fight scenes where Sondra Currie destroys about five people at once has to be some of the goofiest choreography I've ever seen. It seems as though most of the violence was left in, which made watching this edited cut of Policewomen even stranger.

Seriously, in this day and age, how hard is it to get the full version of a movie, Netflix? The full cut of the film has been released on DVD, and in its original widescreen ratio. Why make available a vastly inferior product? It's annoying and dumbfounding. Fucking Netflix, taking away my titties.

On a sidenote, I'm on fucking vacation the rest of the week. Here's to catching up on some movie watching.

The Skeptic (2009)

The Skeptic (2009)

Directed by: Tennyson Bardwell
Screenplay by: Tennyson Bardwell

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 89 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

What do you believe?

[IMDb]

Comments: I feel as though if the Lifetime network made horror movies, it would look an awful lot like The Skeptic. C-list actors spewing C-list dialogue in a C-list film. (I do realize Zoe Saldana went on to better things, but she does nothing for this movie.)

I had seen previews for The Skeptic several years ago on a DVD I was watching; it looked interesting but I never really sought it out. When I re-signed up with Netflix, I threw it on my queue while scrolling through the horror section, but it has remained untouched to this day. I didn't plan on watching the film this evening, but when perusing my list for something to watch, The Skeptic popped out at me. I kind of wish it didn't.

There's nothing particularly horrible about the film, but there's absolutely zero things good in it. If it had a few better actors and a more cohesive script, well, it would probably be a completely different movie. And that movie would probably be better. Anyway, enough rambling. Pick something else.

Dr. No (1962)

Dr. No (1962)

Directed by: Terence Young
Screenplay by: Richard Maibaum, Johanna Harwood, and Berkely
  Mather

Genre: Action | Adventure | Crime | Thriller
Running Time: 110 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG
Viewed: Owned DVD

Now... meet the most extraordinary gentleman spy in all fiction!

[IMDb]

Comments: With all the great TV spots I've seen over the last few weeks for Skyfall, plus all the hype around the recent Blu-ray box set release of every James Bond film, I've been feeling a bit like undertaking a few entries in the series. Outside of the Brosnan and Craig movies, the only James Bond film I've ever seen was Goldfinger. So I decided to start tonight with Dr. No, a film that despite being somewhat dated (and silly), I really enjoyed. There's a few other Bond flicks on Netflix that unfortunately expire in two days, so I won't get to see all of them. But I'd at least like to check out as much as I can. Onto the next one...

Edit: I started watching From Russia with Love, but I got tired and planned to finish it later... and then it expired on Netflix.

Blood Games (1990)

Blood Games (1990)

Directed by: Tanya Rosenberg
Screenplay by: Craig Clyde, James Hennessy, and George Saunders

Genre: Action | Thriller
Running Time: 90 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

The hunters became the hunted.

[IMDb]

Comments: Blood Games is without a doubt one of those terrible yet undeniably awesome movies. The film follows a traveling women's baseball team that, while wearing as skimpy outfits as possible, completely dismantles some local hicks in a baseball field that hasn't been maintained in five years. A dispute over money owed from the game sets off a horrific series of events, including murders, rape, and a shitload of bad acting (to be fair, that started before said dispute). In essence, Blood Games is A League of Their Own meets I Spit on Your Grave. And it was rather great (and awful). To be honest, and this will only make me look more depraved, but a little more skin and violence could really have elevated the film in my eyes. But as it stands, Blood Games is still somewhat bad ass.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Directed by: Timur Bekmambetov
Screenplay by: Seth Grahame-Smith

Genre: Action | Fantasy | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 105 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

President by day. Hunter by night.

[IMDb]

Comments: I feel as though I'm overrating this movie, but come on. It's Abraham Lincoln fighting fucking vampires.

- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter really had a hard time finding a groove. At times the film felt like it was trying to be serious (well, as serious as it could be), but at other times it was balls-to-the-wall crazy. I can work with this style of crazy, but it has to be a cohesive film that sticks to its guns (à la Timur Bekmambetov's 2008 effort, Wanted). Good 'ol Abe is all over the map, and as a result never finds a groove.

- I have the original book and read about the first hundred pages (I'm not a dedicated reader and often just stop reading books in the middle if I'm not completely captivated). The tone of the book felt so much different than this fantasy film, which is strange considering the screenplay was written by the author, Seth Grahame-Smith. I liked the book (or at least, the beginning of the book) better.

- The special effects are just... no.

- All-in-all, I still enjoyed the film, (many) flaws and all. I think a more serious tone with less pizzazz and more grittiness would've served the material better. But in the end, it's still Abraham Lincoln fighting fucking vampires.

Sinister (2012)

Sinister (2012)

Directed by: Scott Derrickson
Screenplay by: Scott Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill

Genre: Horror | Mystery
Running Time: 110 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Once you see him, nothing can save you.

[IMDb]

Comments: I have been looking forward to catching Sinister for the last two weeks, but for whatever reason (busy one week, lazy the next) I never got around to checking it out. To be honest, I would've rather seen Cloud Atlas today, but the film isn't playing at my local theater so no luck there (it's playing in my hometown, so hopefully I'll get to it within the next two weeks).

The film marks a return to horror for director Scott Derrickson. In 2008 he directed the remake of the The Day the Earth Stood Still, a disappointing film in general and especially when considering his solid 2005 effort, The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Fortunately, Sinister contains much of the effective dread that Derrickson employed in Emily Rose, and as a result I really enjoyed this film. Combining a cool soundtrack, Ethan f'n Hawke, and a generally interesting story, I found myself fully invested in Sinister. Unfortunately, the ending is plagued by the same problem that effects countless other horror films: the revelation of what's going to removes much of the mystery and suspense, and that causes the movie to straddle the line between effectiveness and silliness. In the end though, I bought what Derrickson was selling (even the ending), making Sinister one of the best horror movies of 2012.

Parks and Recreation - Season Three (2011)

Parks and Recreation (2009-????)

Created by: Greg Daniels and Michael Schur

Season: Three (2011)
Genre: Comedy
Number of Episodes: 16
Episode Running Time: 30 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

Because parks don't grow on trees.

[IMDb]

Comments: I am really loving this show. It's not perfect, but it's fucking awesome nonetheless.

I've been really slacking on watching other shit though. Between watching Parks and Rec, the massive amount of shit I'm recording on my DVR (Castle, Raising Hope, Arrow, South Park, perennial guilty pleasure The Challenge, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, Last Resort, It's Always Sunny, Mythbusters, and The Walking Dead), and the fact that I've been playing NHL 13 a few hours a night with my hombres, I've had little-to-no time for anything else. I've bought a few things at Best Buy during their Upgrade and Save sale recently (read: entirely too much shit), but I've watched none of it. I don't see too much changing in the next few weeks, but I have two weeks of vacation to burn in November and December because I have no fucking life (I've barely used any throughout the year as I have nothing better to do than go to work). Movies will be watched at that point... I promise.

Parks and Recreation - Season Two (2009-2010)

Parks and Recreation (2009-????)

Created by: Greg Daniels and Michael Schur

Season: Two (2009-2010)
Genre: Comedy
Number of Episodes: 24
Episode Running Time: 30 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

Because parks don't grow on trees.

[IMDb]

Comments: I can't even begin to describe how much Parks and Recreation improved over the last half of Season Two. For the first season, along with the first few episodes here, I enjoyed the show but was never smitten by it. I'm not sure what it was, but my overall enjoyment of Parks and Rec was ramped up during the second half of the season (as evidenced by the fact that I started watching episode 15 after work tonight... and then all of a sudden it was 1:30 in the morning and I'd finished the season).

There's a few things that really improved my enjoyment of the show. The first, because I'm a sap, was the inclusion of a solid romantic storyline between April and Andy. I'm a sucker for this type of romance, and I think it was well done. Secondly, Amy Poehler was my least favorite character early on, and often her mannerisms annoyed the shit out of me. I don't know if I got used to her, or she just honed her character a bit (or a combination of the two), but I really started to like her as the season went on. And finally, how can I not love a show with Ron Swanson?

And for my last ramblings of the evening, I must say that Aubrey Plaza is a winner in my book (meaning I'd like to marry her if given the opportunity). I just love the looks she gave the camera, and like I mentioned her storyline with Chris Pratt was well done and felt both genuine and authentic.

And I want to marry her. (If Alison Brie isn't available.)

Once Upon a Time in Norway (2007)

Once Upon a Time in Norway (2007)

Directed by: Pål Aasdal and Martin Ledang

Genre: Documentary | Crime | Music
Running Time: 60 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: YouTube

The history of Mayhem and the rise of Norwegian Black Metal.

[IMDb]

Comments: While I've never been a huge black metal fan, I've always had a faint curiosity in the genre dating back to my teenage years. All of the crazy shit that went on in the early '90s in Norway is something I've known about, but never really got an in-depth knowledge of. Another (and likely better) documentary about the subject, Until the Light Takes Us, has been in my Netflix queue for awhile, but I heard about Once Upon a Time in Norway on a podcast I listened to earlier this week, and it was slow today... so I hypothetically may have watched this film this afternoon at work. Let's keep that between us.

Anyway, I wasn't thrilled with the documentary. While it's informative, it assumes the viewer has a somewhat working knowledge of black metal, and the content is presented about as dryly as possible (talking head after talking head after talking head...). However, because I didn't know much about the Mayhem story, I still found Once Upon a Time in Norway interesting enough to recommend it to those interested. And hey, it's free on YouTube and only an hour long. Can't go wrong there.

Argo (2012)

Argo (2012)

Directed by: Ben Affleck
Screenplay by: Chris Terrio

Genre: Drama | Thriller
Running Time: 120 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

The movie was fake. The mission was real.

[IMDb]

Comments: Ben Affleck has legitimately had my respect for a few years now (not that my respect means anything). I always liked him as an actor (mainly for his roles in Kevin Smith's films), but soon his abhorrent choices in movies turned him into a laughing stock in Hollywood. Then he released his directorial debut, Gone Baby Gone, which I loved and gave a 4.5. He followed up with The Town, one of my absolute favorites of 2010, and a five-star film in my book. This afternoon, I had the absolute pleasure of watching Affleck's latest, Argo. It's fantastic. Outside of David Fincher, I can't think of a director who's scored so well with me recently. Do yourself a favor and check out Argo if you have any interest. It's awesome.

Oh, and Ben Affleck totally looked like Hans Gruber.

Parks and Recreation - Season One (2009)

Parks and Recreation (2009-????)

Created by: Greg Daniels and Michael Schur

Season: One (2009)
Genre: Comedy
Number of Episodes: 6
Episode Running Time: 30 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

Because parks don't grow on trees.

[IMDb]

Comments: This is why I don't ever declare October to be Horrorfest. Despite my best intentions of watching nothing but horror throughout the month, I always get burned out a week or two into it. I love horror, and it's absolutely my favorite genre, but I need to break it up a bit. I found myself yesterday staring at the titles I wanted to watch and not having a desire to watch any of them at the moment. I needed something different. Fucking ADD.

And that brings us to Parks and Recreation, a show I've wanted to watch for some time. It's essentially the sister show to The Office, which works for me (although when this debuted I thought it was going to be an unmitigated disaster). I've heard increasingly good things over the years, and combined with the fact that I loved Ron Swanson even before I ever watched the show, I knew I'd dig Parks and Rec. After the short first season, I can see where it needs to grow a bit, but overall I really enjoyed it. Onward!

Vampire Circus (1972)

Vampire Circus (1972)

Directed by: Robert Young
Screenplay by: Judson Kinberg

Genre: Fantasy | Horror
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

The greatest blood-show on Earth!

[IMDb]

Comments: I really liked the style, story, and overall look of Hammer's 1972 effort, Vampire Circus. But at the same time, I was dreadfully bored during parts of the film. It feels incredibly dated at times, but the overall aesthetic worked. Chunks of the middle act just really drug, even though I was enjoying the film. Vampire Circus is a solid film, just one I don't think I'll be revisiting soon. Also, this is a really shitty and rambling review.

ThanksKilling (2009)

ThanksKilling (2009)

Directed by: Jordan Downey
Screenplay by: Jordan Downey and Kevin Stewart

Genre: Comedy | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 66 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

Gobble, gobble, motherfucker!

[IMDb]

Comments: This is quite possibly the stupidest fucking thing I've ever watched. And I like some stupid shit. But this was not working for me at all.

Hostel: Part III (2011)

Hostel: Part III (2011)

Directed by: Scott Spiegel
Screenplay by: Michael D. Weiss

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

Do you feel lucky?

[IMDb]

Comments: This was pretty fucking terrible. Parts of it weren't bad, but the majority was a joke. Scott Spiegel, you should've stopped with Intruder.

Hostel: Part II (2007)

Hostel: Part II (2007)

Directed by: Eli Roth
Screenplay by: Eli Roth

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 95 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

[IMDb]

Comments: This was actually the first time I've ever watched Hostel: Part II. I'm not sure why it took so long, given my enjoyment of the original installment, but I was excited to finally catch up with it tonight. The film has less of a gritty feel than Hostel, and tends to fall more in the category of a horror comedy at times. Despite my disappointment in the lack of real terror, I found myself enjoying the overall story more this time around. Again, I'm sure that Hostel: Part II isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I certainly enjoyed the ninety minutes I spent here.

Hostel (2005)

Hostel (2005)

Directed by: Eli Roth
Screenplay by: Eli Roth

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 94 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Welcome to your worst nightmare.

[IMDb]

Comments: I've always really enjoyed Eli Roth's Hostel. While it's mainly dismissed for ushering in the "torture porn" era of American horror films (along with Saw), I've tended to think more of this violent little picture. Not that Hostel is high art by any means, but it's enjoyable as shit and simply a fun watch for mildly disturbed individuals such as myself. The one issue I had this time around was with the director's cut, as it was the first time I watched this version. It contains a new ending scene that is really dumb and not nearly as gratifying as the original. In fact, I had to go back and rewatch the original ending just to get the taste of stupidity out of my mouth. It's good that wasn't in the original cut. Regardless, I still like Hostel, so suck it.

Lovely Molly (2011)

Lovely Molly (2011)

Directed by: Eduardo Sánchez
Screenplay by: Eduardo Sánchez and Jamie Nash

Genre: Drama | Horror
Running Time: 99 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

[IMDb]

Comments: After watching The Blair Witch Project last night, it worked out well that one of the directors has a new film that just started streaming on Netflix, Lovely Molly. The movie is about a newlywed woman who (along with her husband) moves into the house she grew up in. She had been abused by her father, and her father/something worse seems intent on haunting the shit out of her... or so it seems. Lovely Molly certainly wasn't perfect, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't really enjoy myself. It's sufficiently creepy in scenes (particularly the first 20-30 minutes), and I dug the ending even if it's a culmination of things I've seen before. Either way, I was a fan of Eduardo Sánchez's recent effort. It's streaming now, so if you're interested I'd give it a look.