Castle - Season One (2009)

Castle (2009-????)

Created by: Andrew W. Marlowe

Season: One (2009)
Genre: Crime | Drama | Mystery
Number of Episodes: 10
Episode Running Time: 60 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

A whole new chapter in crime solving.

[IMDb]

Comments: I really wanted to like Castle more than I did. I'm a big Nathan Fillion fan, and he and co-star Stana Katic have an undeniable chemistry together. However, beyond the pairing, the show felt very formulaic and, well, boring. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy myself, but Castle never demanded my attention, and when I finished an episode, I never had the burning desire to fast forward through the credits and begin a new adventure. I am curious to see the relationship of the leads develop over a full second season, but I can see myself tiring of twenty-four Season Two episodes. I guess we'll find out.

And it's nice to see that Castle is a responsible father figure and has a great relationship with his daughter. It's rare to see a man in that position on television.

Straw Dogs (2011)

Straw Dogs (2011)

Directed by: Rod Lurie
Screenplay by: Rod Lurie

Genre: Thriller
Running Time: 110 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Everyone has a breaking point.

[IMDb]

Comments: I know this is weird to say about a film full of rape and violence, but Straw Dogs is a fun film. (Granted, this is coming from me, so of course it's a fucking fun movie!)

- It's been years since I've seen the original, but as best as I can recall the plot is fairly similar to Sam Peckinpah's classic. Sure, there's some subtle changes here and there, but overall nothing major jumped out at me (but I could definitely be wrong about that, it's been awhile).

- Kate Bosworth is FUCKING HOT in this movie. Those damn little outfits they put her in when she goes jogging are ridiculous. I was disappointed (as I assume many men familiar with the original were) that she didn't replicate Susan George's famed topless scene, but even the teasing used during that scene was amazingly sexy. I'm not sure why she didn't go topless, because it's not like she's shy (that's completely NSFW, by the way).

- Another film, another Walton Goggins FTW. Granted, he's in Straw Dogs for a total of about four seconds, but I have to show the man some love.

- Actually, my favorite performance was James Woods. He's so gloriously over-the-top that it takes what could be a very serious movie and just makes it fun for exploitation fans like myself. I really feel like the ideal ending for Straw Dogs would be to have Woods massacre everyone and then bathe nude in their blood as the credits rolled. But that's just me.

- Of the eight films I've watched so far in September, five have been at the theater. I usually go once every week or two, but I've been on a roll this month. I have no point to make here, I just thought it was an interesting observation.

- Did I mention that Kate Bosworth was sexy as shit?

- Straw Dogs is a solid, fun, and worthwhile remake. Rod Lurie is surely no Sam Peckinpah, and the film doesn't certainly doesn't compare to the original, but this outing exceeded just about every expectation I had for it. And really, I couldn't have asked for more.

Drive (2011)

Drive (2011)

Directed by: Nicolas Winding Refn
Screenplay by: Hossein Amini

Genre: Action | Crime | Drama | Thriller
Running Time: 100 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Some heroes are real.

[IMDb]

Comments: Drive was a very fuckin' cool movie. I'll be honest by saying that it didn't completely live up to my ungodly enormous expectations, but it came pretty damn close. The first half was amazingly well done, as I was giddy with anticipation of what was about to unfold over final half of the film. I can't remember having that feeling during a movie in a long, long time (The Dark Knight comes to mind, and similarly I felt that film didn't quite finish as strongly as it started). Drive is also very brutal, as the violence is turned up to 11 when it's killing time (no complaints from me there; the messier, the better). There's also this odd '80s vibe throughout (as evidenced by the stylized text during the opening credits and the odd music selections throughout the film - that were really great, don't get me wrong). I really enjoyed Drive and highly recommend it. It may not have finished as strong as it started, but it's still a fucking fine piece of cinema.

Contagion (2011)

Contagion (2011)

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh
Screenplay by: Scott Z. Burns

Genre: Drama | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 105 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

Nothing spreads like fear.

[IMDb]

Comments: I'll be traveling to my hometown this weekend to visit some friends and pick up my new laptop (which I dare not ship to my current apartment, where it would just sit outside my door waiting to be taken by my heathen neighbors). If I had my way, I'd also be seeing Warrior (which isn't being shown at my theater here), Drive, and Straw Dogs. I don't think I'll be seeing all three, but taking in two wouldn't be a bad way to spend my time. On top of that, I also really wanted to see Contagion, so I figured why not spend the evening with Steven Soderbergh and his immense cast.

- I really have to give credit to Soderbergh and writer Scott Burns. There's about four thousand characters in this film, and early on, I thought there would be no way I'd become invested in any of them. But despite a brisk pace, I really found myself immersed in Contagion and the vast array of talent on the screen. I was really surprised.

- The only character I didn't enjoy was Jude Law's. I like the actor fine, but his character had no real arc, and was only here to show that some people are insufferable bastards that will exploit individuals no matter what the circumstances. I found myself trying to hurry the scene along when he was onscreen to get back to one of the other, more interesting characters.

- I'm also glad there was no cop-out horror-esque ending. Once we reached a natural resolution to the film in the final few minutes, I just had this sense we were in for a final in-your-face-crazy-twist-now-roll-the-credits-type deal. There wasn't, thankfully.

- Contagion covers the full spectrum of an outbreak, and not just a set of characters during a specified period of time. Normally, I'd take the latter, but the aforementioned script was tight enough that it really worked for me. Also, that's what she said.

- I really enjoyed the film. Contagion surprised me with its scope, along with the ability to keep so many characters interesting to the audience. It's certainly worth catching. (GET IT!? I made a funny!)

Backwoods Bloodbath: Curse of the Black Hodag (2007)

Backwoods Bloodbath: Curse of the Black
  Hodag (2007)

Directed by: Donn Kennedy
Screenplay by: Donn Kennedy and Brandon Semling

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 89 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Backwoods Bloodbath: Curse of the Black Hodag is a pretty fucking bad film, but it's rather hilarious at times. The writing, while ungodly awful, does have some one-liners that made me laugh. What makes it all the funnier is how poorly the lines were delivered by actors who wouldn't know comedic timing if it slapped them across the face. The other thing of note about the film is that the main actress had a body double. Seriously? I just have to laugh at the ridiculousness of some shit $50 actress in some sleazeball horror film who refuses to get naked. That just makes me giggle.

OK, those were only things of interest to me for the first half of the film. I'll be honest, I completely stopped paying attention after awhile. There was some stupid twist, and some people died, and there was some heroic shit at the end... yadda yadda yadda, you get the fucking picture.

Hour of the Wolf (1968)

Hour of the Wolf (1968)

Directed by: Ingmar Bergman
Screenplay by: Ingmar Bergman

Genre: Drama | Horror
Running Time: 90 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Hour of the Wolf is a difficult film to take in. It's extremely surreal and only gets more increasingly bizarre as the events unfold. There are times when Bergman gets very personal, and I started to feel a certain attachment to Hour of the Wolf. But then the film got all crazy again, and it took me out of the moment. (I know I usually love crazy, but it's just different with Hour of the Wolf.) I realize I'm not endearing myself to film purists by criticizing this Bergman film, but what can I say? I wasn't the biggest fan of The Virgin Spring either (I did like it, I just didn't love it), so maybe our styles just don't mesh. Granted, there's still a world of Ingmar Bergman films out there for me to discover, so I guess I won't write off our relationship just yet.

Also Known As: Vargtimmen

Apollo 18 (2011)

Apollo 18 (2011)

Directed by: Gonzalo López-Gallego
Screenplay by: Brian Miller

Genre: Horror | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

There's a reason we've never gone back to the moon.

[IMDb]

Comments: First, I have to give credit to the makers of Apollo 18. No matter how the film turned out, I really think this was a cool concept. I know we've seen the "found footage" film many, many times now. But I really like how Apollo 18 was done and the way the film came together (essentially the overall look and feel of the movie). Now, the story itself could certainly have used some more work. It really drags at times, and does nothing to distance itself from other films in the genre (read: all of the "scary" moments are telegraphed, and I saw the exact same camerawork in Cloverfield). I'm probably being a little generous with the rating, but like I said, I really loved the premise and presentation of Apollo 18. It's probably worth a rental down the line.

Sweet Karma (2009)

Sweet Karma (2009)

Directed by: Andrew Thomas Hunt
Screenplay by: James Fler and Andrew Thomas Hunt

Genre: Crime | Drama | Thriller
Running Time: 85 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Oh, the stupid shit I buy when wandering around Walmart at 11:30 at night. Actually, I knew Walmart had cut some prices on some of the newer horror films they carry, and I was hoping to score Rammbock: Berlin Undead. Of course, they didn't have that, but then I saw Sweet Karma for $7.50 and a giant wave of "Oh, what the hell!" washed over me. That feeling happens too often.

- The picture quality on this DVD is awful. The film is gritty as hell (I'm sure that was intended), but it's so bad that I had a hard time seeing what was going on during the night scenes (which is like 90% of the movie). It's a little annoying.

- The story is about a woman (named Karma, GET IT?!), who is hell bent on avenging her sister's death. The sister took a "cleaning" job in Canada to help support Karma financially (who lives in Russia) only to find out she was sold to be a drug-addled hooker (sounds like a good time to me, at least). Anyway, she died, and now Karma is out for blood. The best part about all of this is Karma and her sister are supposed to be poor, yet the actress that plays Karma (Shera Bechard) has quite the chest on her, if you catch my drift.

- Speaking of Bechard, I find it funny that her character is mute, simply because she's never been in a film before and is a former Playboy model. I wonder if the decision for Karma not to speak was made before or after Bechard was cast...

- This movie could also be called They Call Her Fivehead. See for yourself.

- Okay, I'm an asshole. Trust me though, I wouldn't be kicking her out of bed.

- Sweet Karma wasn't all that bad. It's not exactly good either, but I enjoy this kind of shit, and Sweet Karma is certainly "that kind of shit." For the most part, it's entertaining, and there's some decent sleaze throughout. It's not worth $7.50, but it may be worth a watch when it's available on Netflix Watch Instantly if you like this sort of thing.

Shark Night 3D (2011)

Shark Night 3D (2011)

Directed by: David R. Ellis
Screenplay by: Will Hayes and Jesse Studenberg

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 91 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

Terror runs deep.

[IMDb]

Comments: Holy flying fuck, Shark Night 3D was terrible. I really was looking forward to the film, as I hoping for a fun, violent, and naked excursion to the cinemas. And then I found out the film was PG-13. Are you fucking kidding me? Not since I discovered that Live Free or Die Hard would be neutered for the almighty dollar was so I so dismayed that studios were pandering to the teeny-boppers that would come see the film. Anyway, Shark Night 3D was not a good film, and the times where it would have been great feel completely worthless due to the lack of excessiveness. The film is essentially a giant case of blue balls. I do encourage you, if you must see Shark Night 3D, to stick around after the credits, because there is a funny music video at the end that really is better than anything the previous ninety minutes offered.