Take Shelter (2011)

Take Shelter (2011)

Directed by: Jeff Nichols
Screenplay by: Jeff Nichols

Genre: Drama | Thriller
Running Time: 120 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

[IMDb]

Comments: And my streak of excellent films watched this weekend continues. Take Shelter is phenomenal. Michael Shannon is completely worthy of an Oscar nomination for Best Actor, though I'm not surprised this film wasn't recognized in the least (perhaps there's a limit on the number of films that can be nominated that Jessica Chastain starred in). (Speaking of which, I'm glad I didn't watch the show: pretty much every predicted winner won, yet again.) There's not going to be a lot in this review because I have to get up for work in a few hours, but Take Shelter is wonderful. Many feel that the end "cheapens" the entire viewing experience, however I found it a great and fitting end. The film truly moved me, and is really sticking in my mind. Seriously, Netflix the shit out of this.

The Tree of Life (2011)

The Tree of Life (2011)

Directed by: Terrence Malick
Screenplay by: Terrence Malick

Genre: Drama
Running Time: 139 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

[IMDb]

Comments: I don't think I've ever seen a film like The Tree of Life. It's absolutely fascinating (although maybe a little too fascinating at times), and I often found myself in awe of what I was watching onscreen. That isn't to say there's no fault to be found in the film, because there's some issues (at least to me), but on a whole The Tree of Life is simply breathtaking.

- The cinematography of the film is outstanding (I'm starting to run out of good adjectives to use). Malick's vision shines through, and I was enthralled by the images that populated my screen for two hours. His portrait of the 1960s was so real and alive, while at the same time making me nostalgic for my youth, yearning for the simpler days. That's quite the feat.

- I have no idea why Sean Penn was in this film. I could easily see all his scenes being cut out and the film taking place entirely in the 1960s. He added nothing to the experience of The Tree of Life for me.

- Normally, I would have watched the Oscars tonight, but I always get bored by them. This year, I especially wasn't thrilled with who was nominated (seriously, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close for Best Picture?), so I decided to spend my time elsewhere. It was totally worth it.

- Like I mentioned at the start, The Tree of Life is different from anything I've watched before. It's a little messy at times, but the movie is an unforgettable experience. Highly, highly recommended.

Moneyball (2011)

Moneyball (2011)

Directed by: Bennett Miller
Screenplay by: Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin

Genre: Biography | Drama | Sport
Running Time: 133 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

What are you really worth?

[IMDb]

Comments: This is going to be short and sweet, because, well, it's 2 a.m. and I'm tired.

- Moneyball was fantastic, and I'm not even a baseball guy.

- Brad Pitt was also fantastic, and it's cool to see him get an Oscar nomination for the performance.

- Jonah Hill was solid, but I failed to see anything Oscar-worthy about him.

- I generally don't like movies made so soon after the events they're portraying. There's something that feels false about the whole experience, mainly because everyone in them is still alive and says "this isn't at all what happened." However, movies like Moneyball and The Social Network are changing my mind. They're so good, I don't give a shit whether they're accurate or not.

- And I'm out.

The Dead (2010)

The Dead (2010)

Directed by: Howard J. Ford and Jonathan Ford
Screenplay by: Howard J. Ford and Jonathan Ford

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 105 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

The feeding begins.

[IMDb]

Comments: I'd heard a number of good things about The Dead over the past few weeks, so I decided to pick it up from Amazon with the money I made selling some items. I had hoped the film would live up to some of the reviews I read, and for the most part it did. The story works; it's about an engineer in Africa that survives the crash of "the last plane out" and ends up teaming with an African soldier to find his son. The pacing is a tad slow, as we navigate the hostile grounds with our two leads, but I didn't find fault in that approach. My main issue with the film was this amateurish sheen that covered everything - from the acting (the main star Rob Freeman in particular) to the direction and special effects, everything felt like it could have been done just a little bit better. Still, I enjoyed The Dead... but just not as much as everyone else.

A Serbian Film (2010)

A Serbian Film (2011)

Directed by: Srdjan Spasojevic
Screenplay by: Aleksandar Radivojevic and Srdjan Spasojevic

Genre: Crime | Drama | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 102 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Not all films have a happy ending.

[IMDb]

Comments: When any horror/exploitation movie creates a controversy over its subject matter, I'm almost always interested. For me, the crazier the better, and A Serbian Film certainly falls under the crazy category. I'd heard what the offending scene was, but I had no idea as to its context within the film. The US Blu-ray, while more complete than many international cuts of the film, is still not the full film. Two scenes have been edited for the release (although it's easy to pick out which scenes they are), but for the most part it doesn't hinder the viewer's experience. Sure, the final scene isn't presented 100% clearly, but anyone with half a brain can figure out who's who (I'm trying to be spoiler free here). Anyway, I found A Serbian Film to be more interesting due to wondering how fucked up the next scene was going to be rather than caring about the outcome of any of the characters. It's well made and well directed, but I can't say I was completely blown away by the experience. Unfortunately, A Serbian Film feels a little more shock than substance; at times shock is all I need, but it didn't fully work for me in this case. Still, it's an interesting viewing experience, so I recommend it for that reason alone.

Also Known As: Srpski Film

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)

Directed by: Tom Six
Screenplay by: Tom Six

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 91 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

100% medically inaccurate.

[IMDb]

Comments: Well, shit. What can I say? I enjoyed The Human Centipede - the original film - for what it was: a horror film meant to shock people. It didn't really shock me, nor did it do much for me beyond ninety minutes of so-so entertainment and general silliness.

I didn't know much about The Human Centipede II when I found out that it was being released, but I was sure that I'd buy it as soon as it came out (which I did). Now that I've watched the film, I'm glad that I picked it up - it's a much better film that's very different from its predecessor.

Oh, and it's way more sick and graphic too, which I loved.

The Human Centipede II is a very "meta" film, as we see the end of the first Centipede in the opening seconds, only to pan out and see Laurence R. Harvey watching it on his laptop. Harvey is a grotesque, mentally challenged man obsessed with The Human Centipede. He works the night shift in a parking garage, attacking pedestrians on the way to their cars in the hopes of creating his masterpiece: a twelve-person human centipede.

I loved Laurence R. Harvey in this film. He never says one word throughout, but he has great facial expressions to go along with his odd body shape - all of which makes him effectively creepy. This is Harvey's first film; I could easily see him becoming a genre star (you know, the kind that are in twenty-plus D-grade horror films a year). Ashlynn Yennie returns as well from the first film, this time as herself. Let's just say she doesn't fare much better than her character did originally.

For the most part, The Human Centipede II is a completely different film from the original. And because of that, I liked it a lot more. It's a nastier, dirtier experience, and one that all of people who watch this only because of the first film's popularity will run screaming away from. For that, I applaud Tom Six.

A Horrible Way to Die (2010)

A Horrible Way to Die (2010)

Directed by: Adam Wingard
Screenplay by: Simon Barrett

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 87 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: There's a lot I liked about A Horrible Way to Die. Conversely, there's some shit that bugged me as well. There's no denying two things I loved though: that great poster (I love when a movie has great artwork), and the very cool horn score to the film. There's a section that plays a few times throughout, but mainly on the DVD's menu screen that I absolutely loved. I let the menu play in the background when I made this post just so I could listen to the 15 second clip on repeat.

There were times during A Horrible Way to Die that I wanted to strangle director Adam Wingard. The guy made a very "artistic" horror film, if you want to call it that. He employs the "shaky cam" aspect during the course of the movie, and it's not too bad except when there's something really intense happening onscreen - then it feels like Wingard let an elderly Parkinson's patient handle the camerawork. It's obnoxious and annoying. There's a lot of out of focus shots as well, where the camera drifts from a character speaking onto something in the background. It would be alright if used in small doses, except Wingard does it in every scene (or at least it felt that way to me).

I really liked the story itself. A Horrible Way to Die isn't much of a horror film persay, although there's certainly a few kills here and there. The movie mainly focuses on the main killer's ex-girlfriend, who attends AA while starting a new relationship. The film flips back and forth between her struggles while showing the killer escape from prison and kill some people on his way to find her.

Then the twist happens. I won't lie, I rolled my eyes as soon as it happened and docked the film a half star in my head. But then I saw where A Horrible Way to Die was heading, and I liked the direction (and the half star was re-awarded). In fact, I felt like the ending was rushed some, and Wingard could have taken some of that out of focus artsy crap out and devoted a little more time to the final scenes of the film.

In the end, I really liked A Horrible Way to Die. Sure, there was some stuff that annoyed me, but for a low budget quasi-horror flick that I picked up for $10 on a whim from Walmart, I'm pleased. It certainly won't please everyone, and horror fans may find fault with a film that would be considered more independent/art house than straight up slasher. Still, I like enough of what I saw to recommend it.

Machete (2010)

Machete (2010)

Directed by: Ethan Maniquis and Robert Rodriguez
Screenplay by: Robert Rodriguez and Álvaro Rodríguez

Genre: Action | Thriller
Running Time: 105 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

He was given an offer he couldn't refuse...

[IMDb]

Comments: A few random thoughts:

- Jessica Alba CGI nudity is the bane of my existence. It's almost as bad as her acting.

- On the other hand, and even though her hair covers most of it, Lindsay Lohan's tig 'ol bitties are nice and fine. That whole Playboy shoot was shit, but no matter how coked out she gets, I still wouldn't kick her out of bed.

- And since I'm being all pervy, I have no idea who that naked Mexican chick was at the beginning of the film, but god-motherfucking-damn.

- Don Johnson FTW. I was really sad he and Cheech Marin didn't get any scenes together, being an old Nash Bridges fan.

- I liked the plethora of big names strewn throughout Machete, even down to Steven Seagal. It was fun. All the film was missing was a Michael Madsen cameo.

- Unfortunately, Machete's not as good as something like Hobo with a Shotgun, but it's still a really fun piece of work. In fact, the two would have made a great double feature for a Grindhouse 2. Dammit, now I wish they would've made a second installment.

Trollhunter (2010)

Trollhunter (2010)

Directed by: André Øvredal
Screenplay by: André Øvredal

Genre: Fantasy | Horror
Running Time: 103 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

You'll believe it when you see it!

[IMDb]

Comments: Outside of a few slow moments throughout the first hour, Norway's Trollhunter was a pretty cool movie to watch. The scenes where the group was out observing the trolls were great, despite the low budget and general goofiness of the trolls' appearances. When the movie shows the college kids not 'trollhunting' is when the movie tends to slow down, and I feel there's parts that could have been cut out to trim the runtime of the film. Still, Trollhunter was a cool ass movie to watch and it's definitely recommended.

Also Known As: Trolljegeren

Eden Lake (2008)

Eden Lake (2008)

Directed by: James Watkins
Screenplay by: James Watkins

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 91 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

A weekend by the lake, with views to die for.

[IMDb]

Comments: Two things come to mind now, as I've finished watching Eden Lake for the first time: 1) I hate kids, and 2) hot damn, this movie was really fucking good. The only thing that soured me on it was the ending. The last 10 minutes of Eden Lake really took me out of what had been a generally realistic film up to that point. Beyond that, the film was downright awesome. Kelly Reilly and Michael Fassbender (in a performance before he climbed the ranks of international superstardom) were great, and the film felt so much more intense because the antagonists are just a bunch of kids that we see throughout; there's nothing particularly "horror villain-esque" about them (outside of a few that are just straight fucked up). So yeah, despite the ending, I can't recommend this one enough to horror fans. It's great.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Directed by: Alfonso Cuarón
Screenplay by: Steve Kloves

Genre: Adventure | Family | Fantasy | Mystery
Running Time: 141 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Something wicked this way comes.

[IMDb]

Comments: Alfonso Cuarón certainly brought a lot more to the table in the third Harry Potter installment, at least in terms of the look and feel of the film. Sure, for most of the of the first hour, much of the mediocrity of the first two films carries over (sans Cuarón's artistic touch). But then, at last, we break from the mold and get to see an interesting and well-crafted finale. I'm still not sold on the series as a whole, but it's certainly a shift in the right direction.

I was saddened to see that Richard Harris did not return as Dumbledore due to his death in 2002. I knew that he had died years ago, but never really thought about it pertaining to this series until I saw Michael Gambon onscreen. I like Gambon and think he's a great actor; however, he just doesn't bring the warmth and wisdom to the role that Harris did.

I may start on the fourth Harry Potter film tonight after the Penguins' game, but who knows. I planned to watch this film last night, but ended up falling asleep at 7pm. On a Saturday night. Yep. I lead one hell of an exciting life.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Directed by: Rupert Wyatt
Screenplay by: Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver

Genre: Action | Drama | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 105 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Evolution becomes revolution.

[IMDb]

Comments: I'm sure a lot of people had the same reaction when they heard a Planet of the Apes prequel was in the works: a slight chuckle followed by a complete lack of interest. That was my attitude right up to the film's theatrical run, when I started hearing whispers that not only was the movie well-made, it was pretty fucking awesome. That wasn't enough to get me to see it in theaters, but I did end up grabbing the film when it was on sale a few weeks ago. And to my surprise, I really enjoyed it. Granted, most of the human characters outside of James Franco and Freida Pinto are horrible people, so naturally the audience cheers for the end of their race without even knowing it. But still, the movie is incredibly well done and worth at least a look, even if you're only casually interested. I've never seen any of the original Planet of the Apes films, but I'm a lot more interested now - all because of Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Directed by: Chris Columbus
Screenplay by: Steve Kloves

Genre: Adventure | Family | Fantasy | Mystery
Running Time: 161 Minutes (Theatrical Cut)
MPAA Rating: PG
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Hogwarts is back in session.

[IMDb]

Comments: More of the same. That's pretty much the most concise way I can sum up my feelings on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. While the main story is different, everything that occurs throughout feels reminiscent of the first film.

Sidebar: Fuck the people that live below me. I've had a somewhat long week at work, and I was really looking forward to sleeping in today (while this review was posted Friday night, I'm writing it on Saturday morning). But they decided to build something/hang curtains/who the fuck knows at 8am. Anyone who's read my bitchfests on this apartment before knows how incredibly thin the walls are here. Needless to say, it's like they're hammering shit in my room. My floor is vibrating. Fuck you, asshole neighbors. #firstworldproblems

Anyway, I can't say I'm really into the Harry Potter series so far, but then again, a) I'm 26 years old and b) I'd resigned to myself originally that I was watching the original films to get to the later films. Plus, next up is Alfonso Cuarón's installment, so at least I have something new to look forward to. But I think it's time to take a Potter-related break.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Directed by: Chris Columbus
Screenplay by: Steve Kloves

Genre: Adventure | Family | Fantasy
Running Time: 152 Minutes (Theatrical Cut)
MPAA Rating: PG
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Let the magic begin.

[IMDb]

Comments: Well, here we go...

- I've never really had much of an interest in the Harry Potter series until recently. I don't know anything about the "Potterverse," I haven't read any of the books, and all of the early films seemed way too childish to really hold my interest (though I admit I was curious about the third installment, which was directed by Children of Men's Alfonso Cuarón). However, the last two or three films seemed much more entertaining (and were generally well-received by critics) - to the point where I wanted to see them. Unfortunately, I can't stand starting a series mid-way through, so I had to start at the beginning.

- When the last film was released on Blu-ray, I looked into picking up the complete series set. I really wasn't down with dropping $80 on it though. However, a few weeks ago I sold a few random out-of-print DVDs that I had no interest in (Anchor Bay's first and second season set of Titus and a few Something Weird DVDs) and an older iPod Nano, so I had over $150 to spend on Amazon. Thus, Harry Potter became mine (along with the second season of Archer, The Ultimate Matrix Collection, The Woman, and pre-orders for The Human Centipede II and The Dead - all on Blu-ray, of course).

- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was a decent film. It certainly serves as a good starting point, as the film introduces a number of characters and themes that I assume will carry on throughout the series. The problem with this is that it makes the film feel overstuffed and bogged down by everything that's going on. The two-and-a-half hour runtime feels extremely unnecessary, especially around the middle of the film.

- I was also less than impressed with the special effects. I'm entirely too lazy to go find the budget for the film, but knowing how successful the franchise was, I'd think they would have had a decent amount of cash. This is probably completely unfair, but The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring came out the same year, and it looks way better. (Completely unrelated: I also considered picking up The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars sets on Amazon instead of the Harry Potter series, but I already have those films on DVD and wanted to get something different with my Something Weird money. They will be mine though... eventually.)

- Despite a few flaws here and there, I still enjoyed Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Most of my enjoyment comes out of how well many of the characters are set up for future installments; I'm sure if this was the only film ever made, I'd have a lot more bad things to say about it.

- I guess it's time for Round 2... and goddammit, it's longer than the first film.

Out of Sight (1998)

Out of Sight (1998)

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh
Screenplay by: Scott Frank

Genre: Action | Comedy | Crime | Romance | Thriller
Running Time: 123 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Opposites attract.

[IMDb]

Comments: Man, this movie takes me back. I hadn't though of Jennifer Lopez circa 1998 in awhile, but I used to love her back in the day. Not in a musical or film manner, mind you, but a strictly physical manner ('dat ass...). It's funny, because I can't fucking stand the woman now, and I hate when she (and her terrible acting) ruins movies that I'd otherwise enjoyed (An Unfinished Life might be the only film I'm referencing here, but you get the picture).

Anyway, I watched Out of Sight when it first came out on VHS back in the day, and I really wasn't a fan. Granted, I was 13 or 14 at the time, so my opinions in no way were valid back then. I'd heard various outlets praise the film in recent years, so I had hoped to pick up the Blu-ray when it was first released in March of last year. That never happened, but last night I found it at Best Buy and decided to give 'er a spin.

...And I still am not a huge fan of the film. I find myself to be rather hit-or-miss with Soderbergh's offerings, though I generally find something I like about each film. There are parts of Out of Sight I really enjoy, but as a whole, the movie didn't work for me. If the script was tweaked a bit, and maybe 20 minutes or so were cut out, I think we'd have had a better film overall. Still, there's plenty to enjoy here, so it's not all complaints from me.

The Woman in Black (2012)

The Woman in Black (2012)

Directed by: James Watkins
Screenplay by: Jane Goldman

Genre: Drama | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 95 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

What did they see?

[IMDb]

Comments: I made a fatal oversight when I decided to gather my friends to go see The Woman in Black this evening: the legions of teen Harry Potter fans that would flock to see Daniel Radcliffe's turn in this PG-13 horror flick. Not only was the theater packed when we arrived five minutes before showtime (we luckily were able to sit in the second row, which gave me only half of the neck cramps that the first row would have), but we got stuck behind this annoying fat ugly cunt that refused to be quiet throughout the entire film (I myself am a fat asshole, so I feel qualified to make judgements about others). Normally, I would've unleashed untold amounts of wrath and fury toward said cunt and her dopey boyfriend, but my friend despises confrontations (as do I, to an extent) so he kept me somewhat composed. I hate watching movies with large crowds (of stupid people).

Anyway, director James Watkins' only other feature was 2008's Eden Lake, a film I bought when it came out but still have yet to watch (which is pretty much the story of my life/where all of my money goes). I actually had a renewed interest in the film a few weeks ago when I found out Michael Fassbender starred in it. It's one I'll definitely get to soon.

As for the film itself, The Woman in Black was alright, I guess. The best thing it had going for it was the overall look and cinematography. The bleak nature of the locations were downright awesome to look at. Unfortunately, I was never able to fully invest myself in the proceedings onscreen, mainly due to my surroundings at the time. I definitely will check out the film again once it's released on Blu-ray.

In closing, I hate people.

The Descendants (2011)

The Descendants (2011)

Directed by: Alexander Payne
Screenplay by: Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, and Jim Rash

Genre: Comedy | Drama
Running Time: 115 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

[IMDb]

Comments: Wow, The Descendants was fantastic. It's touching, sad, heartwarming, funny, and best of all - real. George Clooney is great as always, giving an Oscar-caliber performance (he already won the Golden Globe award for Best Actor in a Drama), but I really loved Shailene Woodley's performance as Clooney's oldest daughter. She delivers the goods with being intimidated working next to the Clooney. And it also didn't hurt that I wanted to do various unspeakable things to her.

Anyway, I can't recommend The Descendants enough. I've loved Alexander Payne's films in the past (Sideways is a personal favorite), but this might be his best piece of work. Just outstanding.