Scrubs - Season Five (2005-2006)

Scrubs (2001-????)

Created by: Bill Lawrence

Season: Five (2005-2006)
Genre: Comedy | Drama
Number of Episodes: 24
Episode Running Time: 30 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Still solid. Took me awhile to finish the season as I had a logjam of shit to watch on my DVR as watching Seasons 3 and 4 of Scrubs took up my time. I'm still planning on writing an Oscar preview/prediction for this weekend and an update of the TV I'm watching this Spring, but I'm lazy. Maybe soon. Maybe tonight? Nah.

Images in a Convent (1979)

Images in a Convent (1979)

Directed by: Joe D'Amato
Screenplay by: Joe D'Amato

Genre: Drama
Running Time: 93 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Well, everything that made The Nuns of Saint Archangel lacking was made up for (and then some) with Joe D'Amato's Images in a Convent. The story is a bit lacking compared to the other two films in the Nunsploitation collection, but that's never a reason to watch a D'Amato film. Images in a Convent is actually better than most D'Amato films of the same ilk (Porno Holocaust, Erotic Nights of the Living Dead) but not nearly as good as he showed he could be at times (Beyond the Darkness). Anyway, now that I've concluded Exploitation Digital's Nunsploitation collection, I think I'd recommend it to those that are interested. It's certainly better than the SS Hell Pack, which Exploitation Digital released two years ago (but that is most definitely not going to stop me from picking up the SS Hell Pack II, which comes out in just over a week). The films in the Nunsploitation collection are generally decent, and each has its own merits for watching. But, Images in a Convent is not for the faint of heart. Just be warned.

Also Known As: Immagini di un Convento

The Nuns of Saint Archangel (1973)

The Nuns of Saint Archangel (1973)

Directed by: Domenico Paolella
Screenplay by: Tonino Cervi and Domenico Paolella

Genre: Drama
Running Time: 103 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Uh... what? I have a hard time believing that Exploitation Digital couldn't find a film better suited for the Nunsploitation collection (something like Convent of Sinners). Sure, The Nuns of Saint Archangel is a decent film, but it's hardly exploitative, and it's much more of a standard dramatic film about some corrupt nuns. The only interesting parts are at the end of the film, where the nuns stand trial ("The church is inhuman! And it made me inhuman too, like you!") and are tortured. While the DVD is unrated, there are a few scenes which felt like they were cut, and they all occurred during scenes where the nuns were without their habits. Overall, The Nuns of Saint Archangel is an average film. If you can get through the somewhat boring and tedious first half, it ends up becoming an alright flick. Just don't expect much of anything in terms of nudity, violence, or blasphemy - give or take a few scenes. It's just not that nunsploitative after all.

Also Known As: Le Monache di Sant'Arcangelo, The Nun and the Devil

The True Story of the Nun of Monza (1980)

The True Story of the Nun of Monza (1980)

Directed by: Bruno Mattei
Screenplay by: Claudio Fracassi

Genre: Drama
Running Time: 93 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: I was out yesterday to pick up the just-released 2-disc Dead Snow. While perusing the horror section, I found Exploitation Digital's Nunsploitation collection for $20. The only film I had heard of in the collection was Joe D'Amato's Images in a Convent, and I've wanted to see that film for some time. It usually runs $15-$20 by itself, so picking up this set was a no-brainer. I decided to save Images until the end, so up first was Bruno Mattei's The True Story of the Nun of Monza. I've seen a few Mattei films before, and they've generally sucked (although I long for the day when I can watch his version Terminator II and Jaws 5). Monza had its moments, but it eventually fell short. The film started out with explicit horse sex(?!), and I have no idea why that was necessary. I'm not sure what's worse, horse on horse or woman on horse (Joe D'Amato's Emanuelle in America). But, on the other side, there are plenty of blasphemous moments in Monza that make me giggle. There's a scene where a drunken priest is dressed as Satan while hearing a confession from a nun, where he tells her how bad he wants to fuck her. There's also a scene where the Mother Superior is semi-raped on the altar. Still, all that awesomeness can't make up for much of the rest of the film being boring as hell (I made a funny!). While I would only recommend the film to genre-lovers, I still may recommend the Nunsploitation set based on the quality of the other films. Stay tuned.

Also Known As: La Vera Storia Della Monaca di Monza

Do You Believe in Miracles? The Story of the 1980 U.S. Hockey Team (2001)

Do You Believe in Miracles? The Story of the 1980
  U.S. Hockey Team (2001)

Screenplay by: Bernard Goldberg

Genre: Documentary | History | Sport
Running Time: 60 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

Where were you?

[IMDb]

Comments: 30 years ago tonight, one of, if not the greatest sporting event of all time took place. With the USA hockey team defeating Canada last night, I really wanted to revisit the Miracle on Ice. I've seen Miracle (the Kurt Russell film) a number of times, so I watched Do You Believe in Miracles? The Story of the 1980 U.S. Hockey Team for the first time. The documentary is a good watch, even though I already knew most of the events surrounding the 1980 games. Still, it brings a tear to my eye to watch the end of the game against the Soviet Union, even though I wasn't born at the time. That's how you know when something's a truly transcendent moment. Now I really want to see the US win the gold in the 2010 Olympics. They're off to a good start, and the number one seed for the tournament. Sure, it wouldn't be as memorable or important as 1980. But it would still be awesome.

Scrubs - Season Four (2004-2005)

Scrubs (2001-????)

Created by: Bill Lawrence

Season: Four (2004-2005)
Genre: Comedy | Drama
Number of Episodes: 25
Episode Running Time: 30 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Solid.

Shutter Island (2010)

Shutter Island (2010)

Directed by: Martin Scorsese
Screenplay by: Laeta Kalogridis

Genre: Drama | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 138 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Someone is missing.

[IMDb]

Comments: Shutter Island was moved from a late 2009 release to now, early 2010. Many speculated this was because the film wasn't one of Scorsese's best, and it would not be recognized during the award season. While this probably isn't true (although the film most likely wouldn't have won any awards), Shutter Island is a strong film simply because of Scorsese's presence. The script (and by association, the book it was based on) reminds me of many similar films I've seen over the years. While I was intrigued and unsure of how the film was going to proceed, Shutter Island played out very familiarly. Still, the fact that Scorsese was at the helm helped the film become so much more than what it would have been at the hands of a lesser director. The cast, location, and score were all excellent, and all lent credence to what could have very easily been a mediocre movie. I also feel that Shutter Island will only get better with multiple viewings. I'm sure there's several nuances that will become apparent the second time around. Shutter Island is a good film, and is definitely worth a trip to the theater.

Night of the Creeps (1986)

Night of the Creeps (1986)

Directed by: Fred Dekker
Screenplay by: Fred Dekker

Genre: Comedy | Horror | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 90 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

If you scream... you're dead.

[IMDb]

Comments: Fred Dekker has a pretty devoted cult following considering he's only directed three films (this one, The Monster Squad, and Robocop 3). Night of the Creeps was finally released on DVD last year, and there was considerable buzz around this event. I picked up the film as I enjoyed The Monster Squad, and now that I finally got around to watching it, Night of the Creeps is a solid '80s comedy/horror flick. It's not superb by any means, but it's a decent film that's both funny and a bit violent, with some fun kills. Dekker's dialogue is rather entertaining, and not nearly as cheesy as I thought it would be (there's several great one-liners). Still, the film still didn't live up to the praise I was reading about it before Night of the Creeps was released. But it's still a solid watch and worthy of a spot in my collection (not that it's hard to be included in my DVD collection, which includes films like Mom and Dad Save the World and Chained Heat II).

Scrubs - Season Three (2003-2004)

Scrubs (2001-????)

Created by: Bill Lawrence

Season: Three (2003-2004)
Genre: Comedy | Drama
Number of Episodes: 22
Episode Running Time: 30 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: I've been a big Scrubs fan for a long time. It's certainly not the best comedy show out there, and there's several moments that are entirely too goofy, but the show has such a heart to it that it can be exceptionally good at times. The episodes that are of the serious variety are often much better, but the comedic elements are usually just as good. I know people that don't like the show due to the fact that there's always a "moral" or "lesson" at the end of each episode, but that aspect shows the humanity of the characters moreso than a comedic show with no drama (It's Always Sunny). Sure, It's Always Sunny is a better and funnier show, but sometimes I like a little depth with my comedy. And Scrubs fills that void.

The Life and Times of Tim - Season One (2008)

The Life and Times of Tim (2008-????)

Created by: Steve Dildarian

Season: One (2008)
Genre: Animation | Comedy
Number of Episodes: 10
Episode Running Time: 30 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

Lesson #21: Never squeeze an old woman's boobs.

[IMDb]

Comments: I hadn't even heard of The Life and Times of Tim before last week. I was perusing a blog from one of the reviewers at DVDTalk, and he loved the first season of the show. He compares Tim favorably to Curb Your Enthusiasm, so I was definitely interested. And because I had nothing better to do, I decided to pick up the set and have at it. It was worth the purchase, but definitely not as good as Curb. The show is definitely well-written and funny; there's just some moments that could have been funnier. I liked all the ideas for each segment (each episode is divided into two 11 minute episodes), but each could be rather hit-or-miss. Some parts had me laughing hysterically (the scene where Tim gives a speech on stage in Spanish had tears rolling down my face), but others I felt I would be laughing more if I were watching it with other people. Still, The Life and Times of Tim is a funny show. Also, the new season premieres this week, but since I don't have HBO I'll have to wait until the DVD comes out. Such are the breaks.

The Hurt Locker (2008)

The Hurt Locker (2008)

Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow
Screenplay by: Mark Boal

Genre: Action | Drama | Thriller | War
Running Time: 131 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

You'll know when you're in it.

[IMDb]

Comments: The Hurt Locker is an excellent film, and one that most certainly is among the best of the year. Just about everyone has stated that the Oscar race for Best Picture is between this film and Avatar. If The Hurt Locker loses, it will be a sad day in Oscar history (more later when I write an Oscar preview). Anyway, it's hard to write much about the film, as it's one that needs to be watched to be fully digested. The camerawork makes the viewer feel as though they are riding right along the crew, and each bomb disarmament is extremely tense and unnerving. The only part of the film I wasn't the biggest fan of was a few parts at the end. It's hard to describe them without revealing parts of the film, but Jeremy Renner ventures out by himself to try and take some matters into his own hands. It felt more like a separate film, and I don't think it was in keeping with how The Hurt Locker was progressing. I'm also becoming a big fan of Renner's work; he was excellent in this film as well as the short-lived show The Unusuals. I've seen him in a few other things, but didn't "know" who he was at the time. But, if you haven't seen The Hurt Locker yet, do yourself a favor and check it out. It's worth it.

The Wolfman (2010)

The Wolfman (2010)

Directed by: Joe Johnston
Screenplay by: Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 102 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

When the moon is full the legend comes to life.

[IMDb]

Comments: I had been interested in The Wolfman since I first saw the trailer. I've never seen the original, but I liked the actors involved as well as the feel of the film, which looked like a gothic period piece. However, many reviewers stated The Wolfman was very average, so I really lost most of my interest this week. If a number of my friends weren't going tonight, I probably would have waited until the film came out on DVD. Luckily, I did enjoy the updated version. It's certainly no classic, and I doubt it will ever be revered as George Waggner's original Wolf Man, but it was certainly passable and worth a watch. While I'm a big fan of Benicio Del Toro, I found his portrayal of Lawrence Talbot to be a bit bland. He's generally better in supporting roles; in The Wolfman he failed to garner much of any empathy and I never truly felt his plight to the fullest. The biggest question I had was why Universal didn't decide to neuter the film to gain a PG-13 rating. There's no language or nudity, just some vicious violence (that I definitely enjoyed). These days, however, the naughty things are cut out for the theatrical run only to be inserted in the TOTALLY UNRATED cut on DVD. Oh well, it's nice to see they decided to release the film as intended.

A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973)

A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973)

Directed by: Jesus Franco
Screenplay by: Jesus Franco

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 79 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Meh...

Also Known As: Christina, Princesse de L'Erotisme

GothKill (2009)

GothKill (2009)

Directed by: JJ Connelly
Screenplay by: JJ Connelly

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 75 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

It's open season on goth kids!

[IMDb]

Comments: Ugh. I was checking into Wild Eye Releasing's limited catalog the other day, as they released Blitzkrieg: Escape from Stalag 69 (see the review two posts down). I recognized GothKill, as I had seen it at the store the other day, so I decided to pick it up. I realized that it was probably going to be just as amateurish and bad as Blitzkrieg, but figured it could be just as fun as well. It's not. GothKill is a horrible mess of a film. It barely runs an hour and has to be padded by credits to reach 75 minutes. The story is about some dude who used to be a priest or monk or some shit that got burned at the stake for speaking out at brutality against supposed witches. So Satan sends him back to Earth to capture souls to reign over in Hell. But when he returns, Satan has stolen his minions, so he goes BACK to Earth in the body of this goth chick, kills a shit-ton of goth people, but decides that the innocent virgin body he's in is too pure, so he goes back to Hell with his new souls, sparing the chick's life. Yeah. The plot is generally retarded, as the main dude fucking kills everyone without knowing anything about them, yet apparently has a conscience when it comes to the main chick. What the fuck? Doesn't Satan love virgins? GothKill is a poorly made piece of shit. The violence is horrendous, and there's very little nudity (which could have been the saving grace). This movie blows.

Bad Biology (2008)

Bad Biology (2008)

Directed by: Frank Henenlotter
Screenplay by: Frank Henenlotter and R.A. Thorburn

Genre: Fantasy | Horror
Running Time: 85 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

A God-awful love story.

[IMDb]

Comments: I've been looking forward to Frank Henenlotter's Bad Biology for awhile now. I watched the trailer some months ago, and even though I wasn't completely sure what it was about, it looked right up my alley. The image of women with vagina faces was a lasting one, although it turned out they were just masks (sadly). The story of Bad Biology revolves around a woman named Jennifer, who was born with seven (7) clitorises. She feeds from having orgasms, so naturally she runs into Batz, who has long injected his junk with animal steroids so that it's now a grotesque two-foot long beast. Bad Biology is as bizarre and unsettling as it sounds. The only problem is that it's rarely as funny and entertaining as it should be. The film made me chuckle in spots (the line where Jennifer speaks about how God wants to fuck her is great), but Henenlotter takes the film a bit too seriously at times. There's several rambling monologues (mainly voice-overs) that take the fun out of the film. Plus, the acting leaves a little to be desired (well, a lot to be desired), so Bad Biology never lives up to how awesome it could've been. My review shouldn't really sway anyone anyway, as those wanting to watch the film will do so anyway simply because of the plot and visuals, and those who don't want to watch it certainly won't after reading this. Unless, of course, they love two-foot mutant cocks.

Blitzkrieg: Escape from Stalag 69 (2008)

Blitzkrieg: Escape from Stalag 69 (2008)

Directed by: Keith J. Crocker
Screenplay by: Keith J. Crocker and Keith Matturro

Genre: Horror | War
Running Time: 135 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

A new era of Nazi terror!

[IMDb]

Comments: Let's start at the beginning. I was at Saturday Matinee (an offshoot of FYE, which in turn is an offshoot of Suncoast) with my friend. Having a similar taste in flims, he showed me with great delight Blitzkrieg: Escape from Stalag 69. It looked like a low budget WIP film, set in the Nazi era (one of my favorite genres). Upon looking further, I noticed that the film was 135 minutes long (!), which is at least 45 minutes longer than any exploitation film needs to be. That's when I assumed that the WIP-style cover (barely clothed tortured females) was to sell the film only, and this was going to be a pain to watch. If only I knew what lied ahead...

It took me two weeks to finally watch the film, and what a fool I was for not watching it sooner. Never has it been so hard for me to decide whether to give a film zero or five stars (so I settled in the middle). The acting, sets, script, camerawork - pretty much everything - are godawful. The "hero" of the POW camp, Jack Jones, is about 20 years too old and 50 pounds overweight. Not to mention, he can't remember his lines and is clearly looking beyond the person he's speaking to and reading lines off of a card. Much of the interaction and dialogue between characters is overlong and a pain to watch; however, it's so bad that I enjoyed the hell out of it. The sets are hysterical, as it's supposed to be in the 1940s, yet everything looks modern. Most of the film is shot in some abandoned buildings out in the woods. The prisoners are kept in what looks like a shed, which was reused so as to appear as a different place for each group of prisoners.

There were a few things I did genuinely like. There's a lot of (explicit) nudity, and a couple times I hoped thought the film was going to turn into a porn. There's also a very clear reference to I Spit on Your Grave (the bathtub castration), one of the first exploitation films I ever watched, so I enjoyed that. Also, while the acting was never good, I enjoyed the performances of Charles Esser (the main baddie, Helmet Schultz) and Tatyana Kot (the main female prisoner, who was nude for almost all of the film). For inexperienced actors, they were given a lot of material, and they handled it reasonably well.

Blitzkrieg: Escape from Stalag 69 is by no means a good film. Actually, it's an abomination if not watched with a sense of humor. But if you're slightly off-center and can appreciate the humor in things, Blitzkrieg: Escape from Stalag 69 is a wonderful film (it's best if viewed with people of a similar mental state, too). But nonetheless, the film should be a crowd-pleaser, although for all the wrong reasons.

Junebug (2005)

Junebug (2005)

Directed by: Phil Morrison
Screenplay by: Angus MacLachlan

Genre: Comedy | Drama
Running Time: 106 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: The first time I watched Junebug was a few years ago, when it was released on DVD. I won't lie, the only reason I watched it was because I had just finished watching the first season of The O.C. (I have such a weak spot for teen dramas), and Ben McKenzie was in the film. I not only enjoyed Junebug, I freaking loved it. I ordered it on DVD and promptly never watched it again. Until now. Upon revisiting the film, I didn't fall head-over-heels for it, but I still found it to be an excellent piece of filmmaking. Words cannot express how wonderful of an actress Amy Adams is. I haven't seen her in much, but she's been amazing in everything I've seen that she's in (Doubt springs to mind). There's so many touching and realistically emotional moments in the film. The scene toward the end when George and Ashley talk in the hospital is so wonderful, and really brings the film home. Junebug is a great film, and worth watching even if you've never seen The O.C.

Zombieland (2009)

Zombieland (2009)

Directed by: Ruben Fleischer
Screenplay by: Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick

Genre: Action | Comedy | Horror
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

This place is so dead.

[IMDb]

Comments: Original review: Zombieland is an extremely entertaining and surprisingly touching film. Jesse Eisenberg, who is apparently the new Michael Cera (and plays the role a bit better, if I do say), delivers a very funny and touching performance full of the nuances we've come to expect from him. Woody Harrelson is funny as well, and the main cast is rounded out by Jules from Superbad and Little Miss Sunshine (who has definitely grown up a bit). There's also a great cameo that I wouldn't want to spoil. There's not very much true "horror" in the film, as one review I read stated that the audience never really feels the cast is in all that much danger. It's much more of a strange road trip/comedy film. The entire middle section is almost completely devoid of zombies, which is a bit depressing if you're looking for zombie violence. However, despite the lack of zombies, Zombieland is a pretty bad ass and hugely entertaining film. The fact that it finished in number one on it's opening weekend is awesome, especially if it means we get to see some more off-center films in theaters (my theater only plays very mainstream films, but they've gotten both Pandorum and Zombieland recently). So, nut up or shut up.

The Thing (1982)

The Thing (1982)

Directed by: John Carpenter
Screenplay by: Bill Lancaster

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 109 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

The ultimate in alien terror.

[IMDb]

Comments: The Thing is one of John Carpenter's best films, and also a classic of the science fiction/horror genre. Kurt Russell chews bubblegum and kicks some alien ass, which is some cool-looking alien ass, especially for 1982. Ennio Morricone's score is excellent, as it adds a sense of dread to the film. The only objection I had was how fast they deduced what the alien was, and what its intentions were. It's much more so the viewer knows what's going on, which is a bit annoying. Anyway, The Thing is still a kick-ass film, and so I'll end on Kurt Russell's great line at the end of the film. "Yeah, fuck you too!"