High Lane (2009)

High Lane (2009)

Directed by: Abel Ferry
Screenplay by: Johanne Bernard and Louis-Paul Desanges

Genre: Adventure | Horror
Running Time: 82 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

[IMDb]

Comments: A quick sidenote: For everything that's awesome about Netflix Watch Instantly, they do tend to piss me off once in awhile. Like the one night I wanted to watch The Sweet Hereafter only to find it to be non-anamorphic. Way to make the movie look like shit, guys. And today, when watching High Lane, I was pissed to find out the movie was dubbed, instead of using the French language track with subtitles. Nothing ruins a movie quite like dubbing.

Anyway, I hadn't even heard of High Lane before seeing a trailer for it Friday night on the La Horde DVD. It looked good enough, so I was excited to find it on Netflix. However, outside of the gorgeous locations used for the film (and it's pretty awesome that the climbing sequences are incredibly authentic), there's not one original thing about the film. Add that to the fact that all of the characters are completely unlikeable, and you have yourself a recipe for the completely below average film. High Lane screams of The Descent so often that I could've sworn I was watching a straight-to-video sequel (sans the creepy cave dwellers). Do yourself a favor and waste your time elsewhere.

Also Known As: Vertige

Catfish (2010)

Catfish (2010)

Directed by: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Genre: Documentary
Running Time: 87 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Online

Don't let anyone tell you what it is.

[IMDb]

Comments: While I was fortunate enough not to have the "twist" in Catfish spoiled for me, I kind of knew where the film was going (based on a general idea) and so I wasn't too amazed by the reveal. In that sense, I was a bit let down, but Catfish is still a solid piece of filmmaking. I think that the film is at its best when the crew is driving to Michigan, and they drive onto the farm in the middle of the night when first arriving. The scene is tense and genuinely creepy (even though it's not a horror film); a lot of horror movies strive to have this atmosphere. I also liked the fact that there's a sense of normalcy to the end of the film, until the text comes up before the credits explaining what goes on after the film - and everything that was revealed is also pretty fucked. Catfish is a good watch.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)

Directed by: Ti West
Screenplay by: Joshua Malkin

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 86 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

This time it's spreading.

[IMDb]

Comments: I'm a big fan of Ti West's The House of the Devil, but I knew going in that Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever wasn't very good and that West himself was upset with the apparent extensive re-edits made by the producers (he has since disowned the film). But for the most part, I didn't mind it. The film did, however, get fucking terrible at the end. Cabin Fever 2 ends pretty much at the 75 minute mark, but then there's a longer epilogue (which could've been a one-off instead) of this stupid stripper girl that's also infected. For the sake of Ti West, I'm going to assume the last act of the film is the part that was heavily re-edited. It's a shame, because Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever really could have been a decent follow-up.

Freaks (1932)

Freaks (1932)

Directed by: Tod Browning
Screenplay by: Tod Robbins

Genre: Drama | Horror
Running Time: 64 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

Can a full grown woman truly love a MIDGET?

[IMDb]

Comments: While not much of a horror film (at least until the end), Freaks is nonetheless an entertaining film. Actually, It just might be the oldest film I've seen (next year will be its 80th anniversary - holy shit). For only being an hour long, there's definitely some filler that details the lives of the other circus "freaks," but the finale pretty much makes up for all of that. Not too bad, considering I bought this on TCM's Classic Horror Films collection (with The Haunting, House of Wax, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) for only $5 new. Plus the film has the absolute greatest tagline of all time. How can you go wrong?

Deep Red (1975)

Deep Red (1975)

Directed by: Dario Argento
Screenplay by: Bernardino Zapponi

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 126 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

You will NEVER forget it!

[IMDb]

Comments: Love me some Argento. And a great soundtrack as well, provided by the always awesome Goblin (Beyond the Darkness is still my favorite, though). Yes, this is another shit review.

Also Known As: Profondo Rosso

Paul (2011)

Paul (2011)

Directed by: Greg Mottola
Screenplay by: Nick Frost and Simon Pegg

Genre: Adventure | Comedy | Sci-Fi
Running Time: 104 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Who's up for a close encounter?

[IMDb]

Comments: Let's get this out of the way first: Paul is a letdown, quite simply because it doesn't come close to being as good as Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz (and Superbad if you want to throw director Greg Mottola into the frame). But, for what it is, Paul does a pretty good job. There's a million references to other sci-fi films and TV shows (a little too many, in my opinion) and the movie is slow out of the gates, never picking up until the middle of the film. But there's some humor, some heart, and a healthy dose of Christianity-bashing, so I can't complain too much. Also, I recall ripping Kristen Wiig when Adventureland came out, but I have to admit that I liked her here. She was decent in the "cute and innocent" role and came off much better and less annoying than I remember her being. Paul's fun, but probably a better rental than anything.

The Horde (2009)

The Horde (2009)

Directed by: Yannick Dahan and Benjamin Rocher
Screenplay by: Arnaud Bordas, Yannick Dahan, Stéphane Moïssakis,
  and Benjamin Rocher

Genre: Action | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 90 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Pretty good French horror. Not up to par with the likes of Inside or Frontier(s), but definitely worth a watch. Yeah, this is a fucking lazy review.

Also Known As: La Horde

Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman
Screenplay by: Christopher Bertolini

Genre: Action | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 116 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

[IMDb]

Comments: When I was listening to last week's episode of Filmspotting while driving to my hometown last night for the weekend, guest host Steve Prokopy summed up Battle: Los Angeles as nicely as possible in one sentence: "It is what it is." (And speaking of sentences, how fucking long was that one?) Look, I love big budget popcorn films, but off the top of my head, I can't name any that can stand up to prior greats like Armageddon and Independence Day. Battle: Los Angeles tries its damnedest to reach Grade A popcorn status, but there's not enough personality injected in these characters to make me care about them at all. Still, the movie's fun, and I got pretty much what I expected out of it - just nothing more.

Skins - Season Two (2008)

Skins (2007-????)

Created by: Jamie Brittain and Bryan Elsley

Season: Two (2008)
Genre: Comedy | Drama
Number of Episodes: 10
Episode Running Time: 60 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD (Region 2)

[IMDb]

Comments: Unfortunately, the second season of Skins did not live up to its predecessor. At all. The first few episodes are awful, as they focus almost entirely on single individuals rather than the group dynamic, which is what made the first season good. The last couple episodes are a lot better, but the season is still a giant letdown. They ruin a lot of characters and make many of them unlikable during the ten episodes (they especially fucked Cassie up and made her annoying as fuck). Season Three of Skins sees a whole new cast come in (sans Effy), so I'm definitely looking forward to that. I don't think I'll be watching it soon - but that's what I always say when I'm taking a break from a show after a season that I didn't particularly like (and then I usually end up watching it anyway). We'll see. But there is one thing the show has going for it: the coolest fucking theme song I've heard in a long time. I won't lie, I look forward to it every time I start a new episode.

The Last of the Mohicans (1992)

The Last of the Mohicans (1992)

Directed by: Michael Mann
Screenplay by: Michael Mann and Christopher Crowe

Genre: Adventure | Romance | War
Running Time: 117 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

The first American hero.

[IMDb]

Comments: I'd never actually seen The Last of the Mohicans before today. It's one of those movies I've always meant to see, but just never got around to watching (which is surprising, considering I'm a big Michael Mann fan). While I really liked the film, I won't lie in the fact that I expected to enjoy it more. I really felt like a half hour or so could have been added in the beginning to help better set up the film and its amazing last hour. But beyond that, I don't really have anything negative to say. While Daniel Day-Lewis may not have reached his peak as an actor at the time, he still does a good job in creating a hero for the audience. The action sequences are generally well done, and the movie as a whole looks great on Blu-ray. And the score is top notch as well. The Last of the Mohicans is a great watch that's well worth your time... but you probably already knew that.

Whiteout (2009)

Whiteout (2009)

Directed by: Dominic Sena
Screenplay by: Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber, Chad Hayes, and Carey
  Hayes

Genre: Action | Crime | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 101 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

See your last breath.

[IMDb]

Comments: Wow. This... this wasn't good. I had wanted to watch Whiteout since it was first released. I have a soft spot for movies that take place in isolation (which is probably why I enjoy films set in space), and Whiteout seemed to fit the bill. Despite the bad reviews, I held tight in my desire to see it. Finally, I decided to take the plunge Friday at Target, as the Blu-ray was only $10. Yeah, Whiteout's not worth the $10. I wasn't expecting much, but I did go in thinking I'd at least be entertained (I've always thought of Gone in Sixty Seconds - also helmed by Dominic Sena - as a great popcorn movie). But terrible dialogue, predictable plots, and my general disinterest in the proceedings created a sense of boredom rather than excitement. Skip this one.

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

Directed by: George Nolfi
Screenplay by: George Nolfi

Genre: Romance | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 106 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

Fight for your fate.

[IMDb]

Comments: If you go into The Adjustment Bureau for the sci-fi aspect alone, then you may come out disappointed. The film feels a bit gimmicky, as The Bureau has all this unreal power, yet these crazy limitations to control said power (which only exist to allow Matt Damon to do what he does in the film). But the reason that The Adjustment Bureau works is because I totally bought into the Matt Damon-Emily Blunt relationship. They have great chemistry together, and enough time is devoted to them that I felt their love was real. The pair is the definite driving force of the film. I also wasn't a big fan of who is behind The Bureau. While it's never explicitly stated, it's completely fucking obvious. However, this aspect of the film probably won't bother 92% of the American population. Anyway, The Adjustment Bureau definitely comes recommended from me; it's worth a watch, even if you wait until it comes out on Blu-ray.

Due Date (2010)

Due Date (2010)

Directed by: Todd Phillips
Screenplay by: Alan R. Cohen, Alan Freedland, Adam Sztykiel, and
  Todd Phillips

Genre: Comedy | Drama
Running Time: 95 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Leave your comfort zone.

[IMDb]

Comments: Meh. Due Date was funny enough, but it's definitely the kind of movie that would be funnier with a crowd (and not by myself, as I watched it tonight). The film's too unoriginal to be really good; well, at least without a heaping dose of hilarity that wasn't present. I actually enjoyed the dramatic moments the most. The scenes where Zach Galifinakis gets reminiscent about his father were easily the best. So yeah... this would have been a better rental. ...And this was a shitty review. What can I say? I'm tired.