Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace
Screenplay by: Tommy Lee Wallace

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Sci-Fi
Running Time: 99 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

...And now the earth will run with blood again!

[IMDb]

Comments: Despite the fact that Halloween III lacks Michael Myers (except for a TV advertising the first film), and that this film is heavily criticized, I didn't find III to be completely horrible. It's a very '80s film, and I could easily see this being some forgotten cult film. But because it's part of the Halloween franchise, it's doomed to always be remembered as the Halloween film that wasn't. It lacks any real 'horror' (including gore) and is definitely more of a science fiction film. I believe I read somewhere that the producers planned on making the film into a series with a new storyline each year, but because Halloween III was panned and performed horribly the whole series was scrapped (until Michael Myers returned in 6 years). That all may be wrong, but I think I read that somewhere. Anyway, while Halloween III: Season of the Witch isn't remembered fondly often, I was mildly entertained. I'm just glad they brought Michael Myers back, only so I don't have to hear that goddamn Silver Shamrock jingle anymore.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II (1981)

Directed by: Rick Rosenthal
Screenplay by: John Carpenter and Debra Hill

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 92 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

The nightmare isn't over.

[IMDb]

Comments: Although there's a few issues, Halloween II is a solid horror film that is a nice addendum to the first film. Halloween II unfortunately lacks the suspense of the original (as well as the motivation - it's now about the money), but the film manages to be decently entertaining. It's a bit slow at first, but the film manages to gain ground by the finale. One of the big issues I had was the fact that there is no, and I mean NO other patients in the hospital. Are you kidding me? And why are the murders of the first film all over the news yet Annie's father has no idea. I found it strange that he and Dr. Loomis were driving around looking for Myers and he didn't seem to care much that his daughter was just killed. And then you realize he has no idea, yet somehow everyone else knows. Despite this, Halloween II is definitely a passable horror flick that's worth your while. Just don't expect to be blown away (pun intended).

Halloween (1978)

Halloween (1978)

Directed by: John Carpenter
Screenplay by: John Carpenter and Debra Hill

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 91 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

The night HE came home!

[IMDb]

Comments: I recall watching Halloween for the first time when I was younger, and not being all that impressed. My vision was skewed by the fact that every slasher movie made after Halloween borrows at least something from the film. So upon my first viewing, I really didn't see what was all that special about the film. However, as I've grown older, I've come to appreciate how well-crafted and entertaining the film is. After watching Rob Zombie's Halloween last night, I found myself wishing I was watching the original, as the second half of Zombie's film is a fairly close copy. I've never seen any of the original Halloween movies after the second one, and it's been years since I've watched that one (I know, I'm a shitty horror movie buff). So I ordered the remaining two movies I don't own this morning (Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers and Halloween: Resurrection), so I'm planning on watching the series the whole way through. Totally.

Halloween II (2009)

Halloween II (2009)

Directed by: Rob Zombie
Screenplay by: Rob Zombie

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 101 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Family is forever.

[IMDb]

Comments: So after the disaster that was The Final Destination, I was hoping that Halloween II would redeem the evening. Luckily, I sat behind this petulant teenage bitch who insisted on texting with her fancy iPhone. Granted, I was a bit mean when I angrily whispered for her to "turn the fucking phone off." I was starting to feel bad half way through the film, when wouldn't you know, this stupid cunt starts texting again. If I was any kind of bad ass I would have promptly stood up and chucked that phone across the cinema. But I'm not. Then, she left before the goddamn film even ended. Why even pay $10 to see the movie? Oh wait, I forgot, your parents bought you a $600 phone so money isn't a major concern.

Anyway, I was a bit distracted during Halloween II, but I did enjoy it. It really felt like the first movie never stopped, as it had the same tone and feel (with the exception of the new kid that played the young Michael Myers). The one thing I noticed was how much Scout Taylor-Compton reminds me of Sheri Moon Zombie. The two really worked well as a mother-daughter combo and added a touch of realism to the film. I was also a fan of Brad Dourif's performance, but I usually enjoy everything he's in. However, while Halloween II is solid, it lacks any real spark. I am looking forward to Rob Zombie getting back to his other films, because then he won't have a script to follow, so to speak. As it stands, the Halloween franchise was left in capable hands with Rob, especially when compared to the rest of the horror remakes of the decade. But to be honest, I'm hoping that Halloween II will mark the end of the road for this current incarnation.

EDIT: Halloween 3D has been announced (no shock there, as The Final Destination destroyed Halloween II at the box office). However, Rob Zombie will not be involved. I'm still going to see it, anyway.

The Final Destination (2009)

The Final Destination (2009)

Directed by: David R. Ellis
Screenplay by: Eric Bress

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 82 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Rest in pieces.

[IMDb]

Comments: I fucking hate 3D. Granted, it makes the film look cool. But on the other hand, I never would have seen this horrible film in theaters if it wasn't in 3D. The actors were wretched, and their characters were neither engaging nor sympathetic. The characters came to the "death is coming for us" solution in about three seconds, and the rest of the movie is exactly the same as the first three. This meant that the only thing The Final Destination had to offer was death scenes. While they were mildly entertaining, they unfortunately contained WAY too much CGI. I like my violence to look realistic, not like a cartoon. Anyway, The Final Destination was a complete waste of time and money. Welcome to the shittiest films of the year list, buddy.

Halloween (2007)

Halloween (2007)

Directed by: Rob Zombie
Screenplay by: Rob Zombie

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 121 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

Evil has a destiny.

[IMDb]

Comments: I had very high hopes for Halloween when the film was announced. Rob Zombie was riding high off of his excellent film, The Devil's Rejects, and thus I expected the film to be top-notch. While it doesn't exactly live up to those standards, Halloween is an entertaining horror film even if it is very uneven. The first half is Zombie's own creation; a 45 minute addition that explores the background of Michael Myers. This part is interesting and well made. The second half is basically a very close remake of the excellent original, crammed into a 60 minute time frame (with some extra nudity thrown in). While Halloween really can't compare to the original, it is a refreshing take in the world of watered-down remakes. Also, am I the only one who thinks it would be cool to see the Firefly family take on Michael Myers?

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Directed by: Quentin Tarantino
Screenplay by: Quentin Tarantino

Genre: Action | Drama | War
Running Time: 153 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France...

[IMDb]

Comments: While there is much that is not historically accurate about Inglourious Basterds, the film is nonetheless entertaining and awesome. Tarantino's overuse of dialogue is the only thing that slows the film down. I enjoyed the characters' interaction, but it just got to a point that I was ready for the film to proceed forward. Brad Pitt is awesome as always (man crush!), but the real star of the film is Christoph Waltz, who plays Col. Hans Landa. The man is persuasively psychotic, and thus you are rooting for his demise throughout the entire film. There are also many comedic parts that only add to the charm of the film. Count me in when Inglourious Basterds is released on DVD.

District 9 (2009)

District 9 (2009)

Directed by: Neill Blomkamp
Screenplay by: Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell

Genre: Action | Drama | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 112 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

You are not welcome here.

[IMDb]

Comments: My mind was a bit preoccupied when sitting in the theater to watch Neill Blomkamp's District 9. The first half of the film was both interesting and entertaining, but I wasn't able to fully immerse myself in the proceedings. However, the story picked up in the second half, and was unbelievably good. District 9 is a top-notch film and one of the best I've seen this year. 2009 may be the year of the science fiction film, as both District 9 and Star Trek top my list so far. Added to the fact that I haven't had the opportunity to see Moon yet either, and I'd say sci-fi is having a bit of a comeback. I was in the theater with mostly older people, and I heard grumblings of the film being "horrible," which saddens me but doesn't surprise me. Films like District 9 are what we need in cinemas today, not mindless drivel (although I am often guilty of watching such drivel). I heard that Blomkamp is tossing around ideas for a sequel, and I am totally in favor for it. The ending leaves room for another film, which I would welcome with open arms. Long live sci-fi!

I Love You, Man (2009)

I Love You, Man (2009)

Directed by: John Hamburg
Screenplay by: John Hamburg and Larry Levin

Genre: Comedy | Romance
Running Time: 105 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

Are you man enough to say it?

[IMDb]

Comments: Well, to say these past two weeks have sucked would be the understatement of the year. As such, watching movies wasn't a high priority. I watched I Love You, Man over the course of a few days last weekend, but I don't remember when I finished it. And, since I'm lazy, here's my original review: It's a bit unnerving when one realizes that the director John Hamburg's only movie he's made in the last ten years was Along Came Polly. However, I Love You, Man shines mainly because of Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. The duo injects their typical raunchy humor and spice and otherwise ordinary plot. The typical "confrontation" and eventual make-up at the end felt a bit rushed. Kind of like they let Rudd and segel do their thing and on the last day of shooting realized that they needed to end the gags and jokes. However, I thoroughly enjoyed the film and am looking forward to some more bromantic comedies in the future.

Twilight (2008)

Twilight (2008)

Directed by: Catherine Hardwicke
Screenplay by: Melissa Rosenberg

Genre: Drama | Fantasy | Romance | Thriller
Running Time: 122 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: I plead the fifth.

When you can live forever what do you live for?

[IMDb]

Comments: I'm not exactly sure why I had the urge to watch Twilight. Sure, it is the current movie of choice for 13-year-old girls everywhere, which I am not. I just was intrigued, as I like vampire movies and all of the attention the movie had gotten had piqued my interest. First, this is not a vampire movie. At all. Robert Pattinson walks in the sun and never kills anyone. Plus, what does everyone see in the guy? He looks like a retarded duck. Whenever he gets mad, he looks like he's going to cry or start a slap fight. I liked Kristen Stewart in Undertow, and while she's OK in Twilight, I was overly annoyed by the fact that anytime she had a dramatic scene she would blink often and as fast as fucking possible. It's distracting, sweetie. All that being said, Twilight wasn't that bad. It's certainly no classic, but I was mildly entertained, despite my issues with the lead actors. Certain parts were cringe-inducing (vampire baseball?), but overall it wasn't too bad of a flick. Granted I feel embarrassed just watching it, but then I think of all of the stupid shit that I watch that's ten times worse than Twilight (yet I still feel like a weirdo). Oh well.

Mutant Chronicles (2008)

Mutant Chronicles (2008)

Directed by: Simon Hunter
Screenplay by: Philip Eisner

Genre: Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi
Running Time: 111 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Rental DVD - Blockbuster

The darkest age is yet to come. Have faith.

[IMDb]

Comments: Despite the bad dialogue and so-so special effects, I found Mutant Chronicles to be strangely entertaining. The film is based on a computer game from the '90s that I've never heard of before. The story tells of a group of soldiers sent on a suicide mission to destroy a machine that creates... wait for it... mutants! This machine has been on earth for a long time, and was uncovered during a battle over the remaining resources on earth. Let's just say it sure sucked to be the soldiers in that battle. Mutant Chronicles, despite the strange plot, was pretty fun to watch. Sure, the dialogue was bad ("Which hole?" "Any hole!"), and the continuous green screen shots were distracting, but there was some nice bloodshed and entertaining battles. While I wouldn't recommend purchasing this movie (at least not until it's in the $5 bin), it's a fun rent for nerds like me.

The Prestige (2006)

The Prestige (2006)

Directed by: Christopher Nolan
Screenplay by: Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan

Genre: Drama | Mystery | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 130 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Owned DVD

Are you watching closely?

[IMDb]

Comments: If I had to make a list of my favorite films to come out in this decade, I'd like to think that The Prestige would be in the top ten. Granted I'm not really thinking this through (off the top of my head, Lost in Translation, Donnie Darko, Requiem for a Dream, and No Country For Old Men would top the list), but I absolutely love The Prestige. I haven't seen Memento in a few years, but for my money this is the best movie Christopher Nolan has ever made (sorry, Batman fanboys). The acting from the film's two leads, Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale is incredible. When people think of Jackman, they no doubt conjure up images of Wolverine or drek like Van Helsing. But films like The Prestige and The Fountain (another personal favorite) show what range the man is capable of, bitch. (I didn't want to end the sentence in a preposition). It's a true shame that this film will ultimately be buried as the film Nolan made between his behemoth Batman blockbusters. Combined with the fact that the material is a bit off-putting (the whole science fiction aspect threw me for a loop at first; upon subsequent viewings I completely fell in love with the film), I think that The Prestige will remain as one of Nolan's lesser films. But I will forge forth, exclaiming the wonders of the film. Or maybe I won't, instead leaving The Prestige and its greatness all to myself.

Match Point (2005)

Match Point (2005)

Directed by: Woody Allen
Screenplay by: Woody Allen

Genre: Crime | Drama | Romance | Thriller
Running Time: 124 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

Passion. Temptation. Obsession.

[IMDb]

Comments: Match Point is the only Woody Allen film I've ever seen. In many reviews I've read of the film, it's stated that Match Point is unlike any other of his films, which is probably why I've never further explored the Allen catalog (I do own both Scoop and Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which I plan on watching soon). Anyway, Match Point is a completely amazing film. I was mesmerized the first time I watched, as I was tonight. I found myself still tense and uneasy even though I knew the outcome. Allen has crafted an amazingly fine film. I think I was amazed most at the fact that I was on Chris' side the entire film, despite his actions throughout the film. While the third act is completely unexpected (yet awesome), I still was hoping for no one to find out about Chris' actions. Cheating is not something I'm a big fan of, yet seeing Chris and Nola together was both exhilarating and exiting. I cannot recommend Match Point enough.

TMNT (2007)

TMNT (2007)

Directed by: Kevin Munroe
Screenplay by: Kevin Munroe

Genre: Animation | Action | Comedy | Drama | Fantasy
Running Time: 87 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG
Viewed: Owned DVD

Raising shell in 2007.

[IMDb]

Comments: At first, I really wasn't into TMNT. Sure, there were animated green turtles flying around on the screen, but it didn't feel like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles we all know and love. Casey Jones never really acts like Casey Jones (Was April even in this movie? And, since when was she a ninja?), Splinter sure as hell didn't sound like Splinter (I feel bad as Mako, the voice actor passed away soon after the movie, but he was no Splinter), and the whole monsters and immortality storyline wasn't all that great. Add to that a lot of the Turtles-related plot was rehashed from the first film, so I was bummin' about the TMNT. However, I soon became accustomed to these "new" Turtles, and about halfway through the film started to get into it. In the end, I found that I enjoyed TMNT, despite its shortcomings. However, I'm still glad they're going back to live action for the next installment.

Baghead (2008)

Baghead (2008)

Directed by: Jay Duplass and Mark Duplass
Screenplay by: Jay Duplass and Mark Duplass

Genre: Comedy | Drama | Horror | Romance
Running Time: 84 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Starz On Demand

[IMDb]

Comments: Baghead is a surprisingly decent film that is neither a horror film or a comedy, as it is often listed. Instead it is a rather interesting drama, with some decent character study and development. The camerawork and script tend to be a bit pretentious at times, but the overall development of the film held it together. The real low point of Baghead, however, was the finale. Not only was it predictable, but it was weak compared to the rest of the film. I'm glad the film was in my On Demand section, because not only was it free, but it's something I probably never would have watched otherwise.

Step Brothers (2008)

Step Brothers (2008)

Directed by: Adam McKay
Screenplay by: Will Ferrell and Adam McKay

Genre: Comedy
Running Time: 98 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Starz On Demand

They grow up so fast.

[IMDb]

Comments: Will Ferrell's career reminds me a lot of Adam Sandler during the '90s. He started out with some funny and entertaining films. Then he repeated those films, portraying the exact same character in each, over and over again. Granted, Ferrell has made a few different films, like Winter Passing and Stranger Than Fiction, but he remains popular because of his comedic ventures. Films like Blades of Glory and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby were generally unfunny and horrible, and one could assume that Step Brothers would follow that trend. The film is moronic, stupid, and above all, has an IQ well below 70. However, I find the movie hilarious. Perhaps it's because it's rated R, and is allowed to do and say much funnier things would be allowed in a PG-13 film. Perhaps I'm mentally challenged. Either way, the movie is hysterical, yet I completely understand people that hate it. It's that kind of movie. I laughed hard in theaters, and I laughed at the same things today. What else can I say?

Tenebre (1982)

Tenebre (1982)

Directed by: Dario Argento
Screenplay by: Dario Argento

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 101 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

Terror beyond belief.

[IMDb]

Comments: I am a fan of director Dario Argento's films (namely Suspiria), but unfortunately I've only seen a few. Tonight was my first excursion into Tenebre, which is often regarded as one of Argento's best. I found the first half of the film to be a little meandering, as there are many characters introduced. Most are not given proper development, and as a result I had trouble distinguishing some of the characters at first. Luckily, Tenebre picks up steam and has an excellent and compelling second half (with a lot more gore as well!). I also have to mention Goblin, a band which has created some of the more memorable horror film scores of the '70s and '80s (including Deep Red, Suspiria, and one of my personal favorites, Beyond the Darkness). While their work in Tenebre isn't their best, it is still awesome and wholly original. Tenebre is certainly one of the better giallo films I've seen, and worth its reputation. Definitely worth a watch if you're into Italian horror cinema.

Also Known As: Tenebrae, Unsane

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

Directed by: Stuart Gillard
Screenplay by: Stuart Gillard

Genre: Action | Adventure | Comedy | Family | Fantasy | Sci-Fi
Running Time: 96 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG
Viewed: Owned DVD

The turtles are back... in time.

[IMDb]

Comments: It's been a few years since I watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. I recall thinking that while the premise of the film isn't the greatest, it wasn't half bad. But after watching it again, especially after the first two, it's pretty bad. There's a few decent comedic moments, but the film is really lacking any punch (I made a funny!). The whole time travel scenario is ridiculous (but then again, I am watching four large martial arts-practicing turtles), and it would have been much better if they used a villain from the cartoon series. I was planning on watching TMNT after this (I've never seen it), but I'm turtled out for now. Also, a new live-action film is due in 2011. Count me in.