Frost/Nixon (2008)

Frost/Nixon (2008)

Directed by: Ron Howard
Screenplay by: Peter Morgan

Genre: Drama | History
Running Time: 122 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

400 million people were waiting for the truth.

[IMDb]

Comments: Frost/Nixon is an actor's film in the truest sense of the word. I was wondering how the film would keep my attention until the actual interviews took place, and that answer was great performances. Parts of Frost/Nixon aren't the most engaging, but Michael Sheen and Frank Langella are excellent, and carry the film along until the interviews occur. I wasn't born when Watergate incident erupted, so it's place in historical history is somewhat lost on me. But the film helps make it up, despite the fact that several portions of the film are contested as being mildly inaccurate. Still, Frost/Nixon is a fine film and worthy of its praise. Definitely recommended.

Whatever Works (2009)

Whatever Works (2009)

Directed by: Woody Allen
Screenplay by: Woody Allen

Genre: Comedy | Romance
Running Time: 92 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Starz On Demand

[IMDb]

Comments: Whatever Works marks my second venture into Woody Allen's universe (the only other film of his I've seen is the amazing Match Point), and while not as good, it's certainly no letdown. Larry David plays basically the same character he plays in Curb Your Enthusiasm, only ratcheted up to the Nth degree. He's a complete asshole, yet most of the time he's funny as hell. Evan Rachel Wood is excellent in the film (so much so that it boggles my mind that she's engaged to Marilyn Manson), and the rest of the supporting cast is top notch. My biggest complaint would be that the film's uneven; at times LD seemed like the character we're supposed to root for and identify with, but later we start to identify much more with Wood's character, and Larry's left in the background. Other than that, the writing is great and I'm surprised with how many times I laughed out loud considering I was watching the film alone ("I don't have anywhere to go and if you throw me out and I wind up an Asian prostitute, that's going to be on your conscience"). Now I need to go look into this Woody Allen box set with Annie Hall and Manhattan.

Angels & Demons (2009)

Angels & Demons (2009)

Directed by: Ron Howard
Screenplay by: David Koepp and Akiva Goldsman

Genre: Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 138 Minutes (Theatrical Cut)
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Starz On Demand

The holiest event of our time. Perfect for their return.

[IMDb]

Comments: I won't lie, at times it felt like I was watching National Treasure 3: Dan Brown Style. I did enjoy the film and was entertained, but it's just with Ron Howard and Tom Hanks, I expect a little more. I saw The Da Vinci Code roughly four years ago, but I really don't remember much of anything to compare the two. Both drew some outrage from the Catholic community, but from a non-religious man like myself, the entire sect is treated much better than most people think. To me, this film incorporates religion better than most: it provides a message of goodwill without cramming mythology down the viewer's throat (well, maybe the priest that was strung up and burned alive won't think so much of the goodwill). In the end, Angels & Demons is a fast-paced, engaging (if not particularly thought-provoking) film. It's something that any Hollywood director could have made, so seeing Ron Howard's name attached is a bit of a letdown. But, since it was On Demand, I can't complain since I watched it for free (well, there's that whole cable bill...). If you're interested, it's worth a watch.

The Crazies (2010)

The Crazies (2010)

Directed by: Breck Eisner
Screenplay by: Scott Kosar and Ray Wright

Genre: Horror | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 101 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Fear thy neighbor.

[IMDb]

Comments: When I first heard about The Crazies several months ago, I really had no desire to see the film. That’s just my normal reaction to remakes, which seem to be at least 50% of the horror film market anymore (we’re due for A Nightmare on Elm Street and Child’s Play later this year, but you probably already knew that). However, once I finally saw the trailer, my tune changed rather dramatically. This actually looked pretty good! But once again my hopes where dashed when I did some research and found out the film was directed by Breck Eisner, whose last film was the generally disliked Sahara, starring Matthew “They Stay the Same Age” McConaughey.

The Crazies was looking more and more like a rental until mostly positive reviews started rolling in after opening weekend. After having to watch Repo Men because of my local cinema’s lack of ability to update the simplest website imaginable, I ventured back not two days later to watch The Crazies, which I was now highly anticipating. The worst part about the entire event was the fact that I had to call the theater (gasp!) to find the time of the film, rather than just checking the non-updated website. Naturally, The Crazies was the last listed, so I had to sit through five minutes of "Alice in Wonderland in 3D is rated PG for fantasy action and violence involving scary images and situations, and for a smoking caterpillar. Showtimes are..." A smoking caterpillar? This is how movie ratings are described now? Thank you, MPAA, for making everything clear to me.

Back to the topic at hand, The Crazies turned out to be an extremely competent and enjoyable film. Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell star as a loving husband and wife living in the small town of Ogden Marsh, Iowa. Olyphant plays David, the town’s sheriff. He’s at a local baseball game when one of the townsfolk wanders onto the field, shotgun in hand. David, assuming the man is drunk, tries to reason with him. The man is despondent and eventually raises his shotgun, forcing David must take action by killing the man. In defense of David, the drunk did pull first, so the shooting was justified (that’s a not so subtle reference to Olyphant’s entertaining new show, Justified, by the way).

But wait! The toxicology report comes back (remarkably fast) and it’s determined that the dead drunk guy wasn’t so drunk at all. Smelling something fishy, David and his deputy Russell (Joe Anderson) do some investigating only to find a downed plane in the river, which just happens to be the town’s water supply. More and more citizens are showing signs of being batshit crazy, freaking our heroes out. Eventually, while David is busy trying to shut off the town’s water, the government steps in and quarantines the quiet little town of Ogden Marsh.

Many may have been comforted to find that the government is here to help, however things don’t go so smoothly for David and company. Anyone with a temperature is taken away, including David’s wife Judy (Mitchell), who also happens to be pregnant. The military has no real tolerance for anyone acting out-of-hand; numerous people are killed even though they have not been infected. David must rescue his wife and dodge both the military and those crazy bastards, all while trying to get out of town.

The problem with The Crazies is that it’s about as formulaic as they come. Anyone who has spent time watching films of a similar nature (zombies!) over the years will have seen everything The Crazies offers before. There’s a lot of running around, some pretty neat death scenes, paranoia as to whether or not the people David’s with are infected, along with the requisite splitting up for no reason other than to create tension in the film. But I’m also not condemning the film. The Crazies is as solid as mainstream horror comes. It’s fun and entertaining way to spend two hours. I just don’t see anyone remembering it in a few years with more than, "Yeah, that was pretty good movie. Haven’t seen it in awhile, though." There’s never that one defining moment that stands out to make the film especially memorable, or even a cult classic. Still, I certainly am recommending the film. Genre fans will most likely be pleased (although not blown away). It may not be the horror event of the year, but it’s certainly worth the price of admission.

The Box (2009)

The Box (2009)

Directed by: Richard Kelly
Screenplay by: Richard Kelly

Genre: Drama | Mystery | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 115 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Rental DVD - Blockbuster

You are the experiment.

[IMDb]

Comments: Richard Kelly has had a short yet interesting film career. First, he released the critically acclaimed Donnie Darko, a film I regularly cite as one of my all-time favorites. Then it took him five years to release his follow-up, Southland Tales, which was generally disregarded by critics. I liked the film, but it certainly wasn't anything spectacular. After another four years, Kelly finally returned with The Box. The film has a tone similar to Donnie Darko, along with a wonderfully odd plot. While it's certainly not as good as Darko, I really enjoyed the film (although many critics disliked this one as well). I was generally surprised at how much the film was pushed; nothing about The Box is suited toward mainstream audiences (well, other than Cameron Diaz). The film is about so much more than the decision of whether or not to push the button in the box. I also feel that The Box could have been fleshed out a bit more, as there's a wealth of material that could have been explored further. A film like this may not be for everyone, but if you've enjoyed Kelly's work in the past, I think you just might like The Box.

A random side-note: why does Kelly always seem to hire some "iffy" actors? From Drew Barrymore in Donnie Darko, to Seann William Scott in Southland Tales (or pretty much the entire cast, depending on your opinion), to Cameron Diaz in The Box. Don't get me wrong, Diaz does an alright job in The Box, it's just that there are so many other actresses that would have been better, at least in my opinion.

The Fourth Kind (2009)

The Fourth Kind (2009)

Directed by: Olatunde Osunsanmi
Screenplay by: Olatunde Osunsanmi

Genre: Mystery | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 98 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Rental DVD - Blockbuster

There are four kinds of alien encounters. The fourth kind is abduction.

[IMDb]

Comments: The Fourth Kind features an interesting premise: a film based on the events surrounding an alien abduction that incorporates footage from the actual incidents into the film. When the initial reviews came out, many stated that this footage gave credence to an otherwise mediocre film; I was intrigued, but waited until The Fourth Kind was released on DVD to watch it.

It’s at this point where I would caution those that know nothing about The Fourth Kind to stop reading. If you have any interest in watching the film, but have done no research on it, stop reading now and come back once you’ve seen it. I won’t be spoiling any plot points, but I will kill the overall experience of the film. Still reading? This is the last chance to keep your Fourth Kind cherry intact…

Here’s the kicker: everything’s fake! While this may seem obvious to those in the know, I have read a few reviews where the viewer was duped. I unfortunately knew everything going into the film, so it certainly wasn’t as affecting as it originally would have been. The fact that The Fourth Kind so dubiously lies to the audience really divided fans; they either felt cheated and hated the film or appreciated the originality involved. I fell into the latter category, but it’s unfortunate that the film itself isn’t better, because it really never rises above mediocrity despite the original idea.

Milla Jovovich appears onscreen to start the film, and starts speaking like she’s making a public service announcement about some kind of humanitarian cause. “I'm actress Milla Jovovich, and I will be portraying Dr. Abigail Tyler in The Fourth Kind,” she begins. “This film is a dramatization of events that occurred October 1st through the 9th of 2000 in the Northern Alaskan town of Nome. To better explain the events of this story, the director has included actual archived footage throughout the film.” Knowing the falsities of the film, the introduction is particularly laughable, simply because Milla is so serious about the whole thing.

The Fourth Kind revolves around said psychologist, Dr. Tyler, whose husband was recently killed. She has been administering hypnosis to her patients, and each one tells a startlingly similar story about being watched by a white owl, along with other disturbing trends about their sleeping habits. After a session where the hypnosis causes one patient to flip his shit, Dr. Tyler is later called to the man’s house where he is holding his family hostage. The predicament doesn’t end well for the family, and Dr. Tyler soon becomes concerned that something otherworldly is happening in Nome.

Director Olatunde Osunsanmi incorporates the “real” footage often by using a splitscreen; Jovovich and company are shown reenacting the scenes while the supposed original footage is played alongside. At times I felt like I was watching “A Haunting” on the Discovery Channel (that’s not a compliment). But at other points, the footage does work surprisingly well when showing the scarier segments of the film. I could feel the hair rising on the back on my neck when the more ghastly events were displayed. It’s a shame that this tension and atmosphere wasn’t retained for the rest of The Fourth Kind, as the film might not have been received so negatively otherwise.

I found The Fourth Kind to be an interesting, if flawed film. I am grateful that Osunsanmi at least tried something different in his approach – something that doesn’t always happen when a director makes his first “mainstream” film. However, this ingenuity doesn’t mean that the movie is very good, as it barely rises above a mediocre status. Still, The Fourth Kind is entertaining at points and certainly worth a rent to those interested.

Surrogates (2009)

Surrogates (2009)

Directed by: Jonathan Mostow
Screenplay by: Michael Ferris and John D. Brancato

Genre: Action | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 89 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Rental DVD - Blockbuster

How do you save humanity when the only thing that's real is you?

[IMDb]

Comments: Like Repo Men, Surrogates seemed like the perfect rental: worth a few bucks for a fun 90-minute film. And that's exactly what this film is. Surrogates has the themes to be a much deeper and more meaningful film, but it's much more of a popcorn adventure with some entertaining action scenes. There's a few issues that jumped to my mind, including the fact that there's barely any kids in the film. Surrogates mentions that kid "surrogates" are being developed, but this doesn't explain where the actual kids are or why there aren't any around (perhaps they use adult surrogates, but that's just creepy). Overall, Surrogates is an acceptable way to spend 90 minutes. It's just not much more than that.

Repo Men (2010)

Repo Men (2010)

Directed by: Miguel Sapochnik
Screenplay by: Eric Garcia and Garrett Lerner

Genre: Action | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 111 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Consider them your final notice.

[IMDb]

Comments: When a film is released, it generally falls into three categories for me. There are the films that I need to see in theaters, those that are destined to be rented, and movies where I make fun of the people who go to see them. Granted, I generally watch crappy horror films to begin with, but at least there’s usually nudity or graphic violence involved (or copious amounts of both, which usually results in me declaring that said film is the best ever made).

Anyway, Repo Men seemed like the perfect rental fodder for me: a film that’s entertaining while it lasts, but ask me about in two days and I won’t be able to tell you anything that happened in it. So why am I reviewing it during its theatrical run? Well, a few friends and I were out and planning on seeing The Crazies. Luckily for us, the web guy for my local cinema was out of town, and apparently no one else knew how to update the damn website. That, in turn, meant that The Crazies wasn’t showing at that particular time, so Repo Men it was.

Repo Men tells the story of Remy (Jude Law) and Jake (Forest Whitaker), two men that work for The Union. You see, it’s the future, and all this fancy technology we’ve created means that humans no longer need organ transplants. The Union can provide you with the latest liver in case you drink yours to death. That’s all fine and dandy until you can’t pay the bill, when Remy and Jake come along and slice you open, removing the organs you purchased (and most likely killing you in the process),

This brings me to the first weird part of the film. Throughout the first act, the people that are unable to pay for the organs are hunted down and slaughtered. The film tries to make them look guilty, but in reality mostly innocent people are being slain for failing to pay their bills (much to the delight of the audience). Imagine if this happened if people didn’t pay their credit card bill?

Inevitably, Remy gets fucked up and requires an artificial heart. Despite being portrayed as a top repo man with a moderate wealth, Remy is unable to pay his bill (weird part #2). He also stops collecting artificial organs, because he sees himself as the victims and can no longer saw them open. All of this is occurs within a minute, and we quickly advance a few months to where Remy is being hunted by The Union. Who needs a solid plot when we can have lots of action and violence?

After a lot of scenes involving Remy and his new lady friend, Beth (Alice Braga) running away from Jake and The Union, Repo Men builds to a rather action-packed final act. There’s a particularly awesome scene where Remy needs to get to a door, and there’s about 15 people in his way. Cue the energetic music, and one hell of a kick-ass fight breaks out. It really doesn’t fit in too much with the rest of the film (it feels like something out of Shoot ‘Em Up or Wanted), but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t awesome and probably the best thing about Repo Men.

While Jude Law and Forest Whitaker seem like an odd pair, the two work surprisingly well together. Both are talented actors, although neither seems like your typical action star. However, they turn in fine performances and are certainly both believable in their roles (despite the fact that Jude Law looks exactly like Forrest Gump throughout most of the film).

In the end, Repo Men was exactly what I thought it would be at the beginning: a solid rental. Despite the film’s numerous flaws, I generally found myself entertained. There’s unfortunately a few twists and turns along the way that diminish the overall impact of the film, but for pure entertainment value, it’s hard to go wrong with Repo Men.

The Collector (2009)

The Collector (2009)

Directed by: Marcus Dunstan
Screenplay by: Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan

Genre: Crime | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 90 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Rental DVD - Blockbuster

He always takes one.

[IMDb]

Comments: I was watching Attack of the Show! (I’m sorry, it’s Olivia Munn’s fault) last year when I first saw an advertisement for The Collector. The premise had me hooked immediately; I’m a big sucker for films where characters must find redemption. The plot revolved around a man planning to rob his employer only to find that someone is already in the house. Now, instead of robbing the joint, he must save the family from a homicidal madman.

Once again, because I need to know everything about the movies I watch, I was disappointed to learn that co-writer/director Marcus Dunstan wrote the last three Saw films. While I don’t harbor any grudge toward the franchise, I was afraid that The Collector would stumble into the same pitfalls that have hurt the Saw films. And unfortunately, I couldn’t have been closer to the truth.

After opening with some prior victims of The Collector and credits ripped directly from Seven, The Collector begins with Arkin (Josh Stewart) doing some construction at the home of Michael and Victoria. He meets their daughters, the young Hannah and teenage minx Jill (Madeline Zima of Californication fame), and bonds with Hannah due to the fact he has a child the same age. On the personal side, things aren’t going well for Arkin, as his wife owes money to loan sharks and is planning to run away with his daughter if they can’t pay up. Arkin has been sizing up Michael’s house for a few weeks though, knowing that he’s in the jewelry business. He plans to break into the house that night and steal a big rock to pay off his wife’s debts. Plus, Michael and Victoria are supposed to be leaving town, so the job should be easy.

It’s at this point when The Collector descends into absolute absurdity. After Arkin successfully enters the house, he finds that someone else is there. Michael and Victoria are tied up in the basement and have been tortured. Hannah is missing and Jill is out with a boyfriend (I bet you can guess what fate befalls the boyfriend). The rest of the house is booby-trapped to the extreme for no other reason than to provide the viewer with several graphic death scenes (technically, it’s to prevent the family’s escape). The fact that one man by himself rigged the house so thoroughly throughout the course of the day is mind-boggling. Added to the fact that even the most insane person wouldn’t go to these lengths, and you can start to see why The Collector is such a ridiculous film.

The character of The Collector is essentially Jigsaw Jr. It came as no shock to me when I learned afterward that The Collector was originally written to be a prequel to the Saw series, because that’s exactly what the film feels like. While his identity is hidden, his character traits and actions all reek of ideas I’ve seen before.

Throughout the rest of the movie, characters continuously make the most implausible decisions that only serve to keep the film going. Arkin has several opportunities to attack and/or kill The Collector, but passes on the chances. This contrivance reminds me of the Saw series in general: sure, the traps are cool, but if the characters were to make a few different decisions, nothing that the criminal mastermind has planned would work correctly.

On the bright side, those graphic death scenes I previously mentioned are both interesting and visually appealing. Despite the implausibility of the situation, I found myself delighted when characters met their demise. Plus, we get to see Madeline Zima’s lovely giblets, which is always a plus (though she doesn’t punch anybody in the face during sex).

I won’t lie, despite the fact that The Collector fails in every way possible, I did enjoy myself. It’s the fun kind of shitty film that’s great watch with a few buddies and a few beers. Beyond that, I can’t really recommend the film, unless you feel the need to see people slaughtered by the most unconventional means possible. In that case... I think we’ll be good friends.

Green Zone (2010)

Green Zone (2010)

Directed by: Paul Greengrass
Screenplay by: Brian Helgeland

Genre: Action | Drama | Thriller | War
Running Time: 115 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller is done following orders.

[IMDb]

Comments: I was a bit surprised at the extreme sides people were on when reviewing Green Zone. It seemed as though people either loved the film or hated it; there was barely any middle ground. After watching the film, I can now see why people are torn over the film. Green Zone pretty much takes a huge shit on the war in Iraq and the reasons behind it. While never really implicating George Bush, the film really criticizes those behind the scenes and their reasons for going to war, along with the fact that no one could ever find WMDs. I don't really have a problem with this (making movies like this is why we live in America, after all), although it does feel a bit odd that this movie came out so soon after the events. However, Green Zone does at times does drive the whole issue down the viewer's throat, to the point where I was rolling my eyes (particularly what Freddy says toward the end of the film). While I may agree with these statements, I don't need to see it spread out on a platter and laid before me so I can understand the point the film is trying to make. Beyond that, Green Zone is a damn entertaining film. Greengrass' "shaky cam" does get a bit annoying at times, but overall the film is a solid thriller worthy of a trip. I would caution staunch Republicans along with George Bush that this film may not be for them, however.

Up in the Air (2009)

Up in the Air (2009)

Directed by: Jason Reitman
Screenplay by: Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Genre: Comedy | Drama | Romance
Running Time: 109 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

The story of a man ready to make a connection.

[IMDb]

Comments: Original review (lazy!): Up in the Air is most likely going to be nominated for best film of the year at the Oscars, and now having seen the film it's certainly justified. George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, and especially Anna Kendrick turn in excellent performances, while the story is excellent while never being too "standard." There's also a number of quality actors in smaller roles, including J.K. Simmons, Zach Galifianakis, and Sam Elliott, which is always a pleasantry (as long as it's not a distraction). And the script, as I mentioned, is top-notch and filled with both excellent dialogue and comedic moments. Up in the Air is definitely one of the best of 2009 and will be honored by being nominated at the Oscars. Will it win? I guess we'll just have to watch to find out (Note: it won't win, because it's not about a fat black pregnant teenager that gets saved by a white family as she makes her way into the NFL).

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Directed by: Marcus Nispel
Screenplay by: Scott Kosar

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 98 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

What you know about fear... doesn't even come close.

[IMDb]

Comments: It took me forever to finish the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's been a number of years since I've seen it, and I generally regard it as one of the better remakes in recent memory (even though it took me four viewings to finish the film). Marcus Nispel gave the film a great look; the color scheme is bleak and helps with the overall "feel" of Massacre. It does run a bit long in places, and the fact that it's supposed to be 1973 doesn't help, since everyone basically looks like it's 2003 (although Jessica Biel running around in a wet t-shirt helps the cause). I think my favorite part of the film is the references: Biel notes when breaking into the bathroom that the pocket knife she's using is her brother's (an obvious reference to the original), along with R. Lee Ermey calling the one guy a maggot (Full Metal Jacket, of course). The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a solid film, even though it's not up to par with the original. But it's worth a watch, even if it takes four days for you to watch the movie.

Random Thoughts: Live Blogging the Academy Awards

Even though no one reads this goddamn blog, along with the fact that I have the writing prowess of a chimpanzee, I have decided to do a live blog of the Oscars. I will compare the actual results to my predictions, and make generally asinine comments.

7:38 pm: I just turned on E! and they are interviewing Gabourey Sidibe. I feel bad, because she seems like a wonderful person, but holy shit she looks like Grimace. And her dress is even purple.

7:40 pm: The guy hosting the pre-show (not Ryan Seacrest) has to be one of the gayest looking guys I've ever seen. I fully support gay rights, but this dude has dyed his hair gray and is extremely effeminate. Dude, if you want to bang dudes, whatever. But be a man about it.

7:46 pm: I've stopped paying attention for a while. Not to gang up more on Sidibe, but I was watching Tosh.0 the other day and he mentioned that it would be hard for her to win an Oscar since she was in The Blind Side as well. I LOL'd.

7:50 pm: Jason Bateman just mentioned hanging out with Will Arnett at the Olympics. I completely marked out as Arrested Development is one of my all-time favorites.

7:53 pm: I want to punch the gray-haired "guy" in the face.

Big Bad Mama (1974)

Big Bad Mama (1974)

Directed by: Steve Carver
Screenplay by: William W. Norton and Frances Doel

Genre: Action | Crime
Running Time: 83 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: TCM

Hot lead - Hot cars - Hot damn!

[IMDb]

Comments: It's pretty awesome that in the post-Nipplegate era (I'm speaking, of course, about Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl), a film such as Big Bad Mama can air completely unedited on network television. And even though it was on at 2am, at least we can thank Turner Classic Movies for airing the film (even though it really isn't a classic). It's pretty awesome, as every Friday night around 2, TCM Underground plays a "cult" film; a few weeks ago I watched The Deep End, if you recall. Anyway, Big Bad Mama is a rather entertaining Roger Corman-produced flick. There's a certain creepiness about the whole thing, as Mama's (Angie Dickinson) two daughters act like they're 12, yet are both in their twenties. Both are, uh, "active" in the film; in fact, the one dude in the gang sleeps with Mama and then both daughters AT THE SAME TIME. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. Big Bad Mama is a damn entertaining film filled with (surprisingly) witty dialogue and a good amount of nudity (which is all the better since it's on regular TV). Oh, and William fucking Shatner is in the film. Now if only TCM would air Big Bad Mama II...

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Directed by: Kim Henkel
Screenplay by: Kim Henkel

Genre: Comedy | Horror
Running Time: 84 Minutes (Home Video Cut)
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

Still buzzing after all these years...

[IMDb]

Comments: I guess Kim Henkel was really bored in the early '90s. He co-wrote the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre with Tobe Hooper back in the day, so I guess he felt it was time to remake/re-imagine/make a sequel to the film (don't worry, Henkel doesn't know what he's making either). Once again, the film is confusing, because it references the original '70s massacre, but contains an all new family of cannibals (with Leatherface, and he's a cross-dresser in this one!). The entire Texas Chainsaw Massacre series has to have some of the worst continuity between sequels I've ever seen. Anyway, The Next Generation is notorious for being a godawful film along with the fact that it features a young Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger. Once again, like parts 2 and III, I really didn't think the film was all that horrible. It's just so incredibly bizarre and off-the-wall, which made me truly enjoy it. Sadly, I don't have the fully uncut version (which runs 10 minutes longer), but one day I will acquire that masterpiece. For now... wait, I just found out that the hot chick with fake tits that inexplicably lives with the cannibals is the teacher/stripper from Varsity Blues. You learn something new everyday.

Also Known As: The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

Directed by: Jeff Burr
Screenplay by: David J. Schow

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 85 Minutes (Unrated Cut)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

The saw is family.

[IMDb]

Comments: Well, I have no idea who Leatherface's new family is, or why they also have a Grandpa who is dead and decrepit, but other than that, Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III is a passable film. It certainly doesn't live up to the original, but there's a few awesome scenes that make it worthwhile. Some of the dialogue is laughable (actually, much of it is), but with Ken Foree running around kicking ass, there's no need for believable lines. The worst part of the film is the spoken intro, which makes absolutely no sense. They discuss the first film and disregard the second, even though the main chick from TCM 2 makes a cameo. So once again, if you take Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III as a singular film, it's pretty decent. However when taking in two account there were two prior films, Leatherface makes no sense. What a confusing place Texas is.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Screenplay by: L.M. Kit Carson

Genre: Comedy | Horror
Running Time: 101 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

After a decade of silence... the buzzz is back!

[IMDb]

Comments: It's funny that Tobe Hooper directed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Not so much because it's a bad movie, as Hooper's been connected to many of those. Rather, because this film shits all over the greatness of the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and what had to be one of Hooper's films he was most proud of. Granted, Hooper didn't write this film, but he did direct it, and it's so much unlike its predecessor that the whole thing is laughable. The craziest part is that if you take The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 for what it is (a strange and bizarre '80s oddity) and disassociate it from the original film, it's actually a pretty enjoyable film. Dennis Hopper acts like he's on crack in every scene, and no character makes any realistic decisions, but TCM 2 is a strangely fun watch. From Bill Moseley's first starring role (it seems like Rob Zombie modeled his character in House of 1000 Corpses exactly after his role as Chop-Top), to Leatherface sticking his chainsaw into the chick's vagina (in the most passionate way possible), to the main chick putting her friend's face skin back on his face (as if to make it all better), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is one hell of a movie (and I can't forget the classic chainsaw sword fight at the end). Sure, it's no classic, but in the end, it's probably better than any "traditional" sequel that would have been made. So Tobe, I'm sorry I started my review off so negatively. In retrospect, this movie's pretty goddamn awesome.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Screenplay by: Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 83 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

Who will survive and what will be left of them?

[IMDb]

Comments: I can strongly remember the first time I watched The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (and yes, for the original, Chain Saw is two words). I was around 14 at the time, and because I was gullible, I thought this was a true story (technically, it's "based" off of the true story of Ed Gein). I was past the age where movies scared me, but the fact that I thought this was a true story bothered the hell out of me, and I was legitimately scared after watching the film. Now, 10 years later, I look back with fondness on this as The Texas Chain Saw Massacre still is one of my favorite horror films. The second act (where Jerry, Kirk, and Pam meet their demise) is still effective to this day and genuinely creepy. The last act is darkly comedic while still retaining the horror-element, and is an awesome end to the film. The most amazing part about Massacre is that Tobe Hooper hasn't made a single good film (other than Poltergeist, but that's generally accepted to be Steven Spielberg's film) since then. Granted, I haven't seen most of them, but I don't think I need to watch them to make that decision. I do have Hooper's Eaten Alive, his follow-up to Massacre, and one day I'll get around to watching that film. But anyway, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is an awesome horror film, and definitely deserves its status at the top of the genre. "Look what your brother did to the door!"

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Directed by: Quentin Tarantino
Screenplay by: Quentin Tarantino

Genre: Action | Drama | War
Running Time: 153 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France...

[IMDb]

Comments: Inglourious Basterds is without a doubt on of Quentin Tarantino's finest hours. For my money, I'd rank the film in a tie for second with Kill Bill, just behind Pulp Fiction. There are many Tarantino fanboys out there, and while I'm not one of them, I do consider him a favorite of mine. Originally I was slightly annoyed with the length of some scenes, but upon watching Basterds again, I think I was wrong the first time around. The scenes are really a testament to the strength of Tarantino's dialogue and craftsmanship. The bar scene in particular is impressive, because throughout the 20+ minutes of talking, it's continuously tense and unnerving. The cast is top-notch, led by my man-crush, Brad Pitt. As I've said before, there aren't many actors with such a high profile that continuously make excellent movies (hence the man-crush). And what else can be said about Christoph Waltz? The fact that he's won every award he's been nominated for and is going to win the Best Supporting Actor on Sunday should say everything that needs to be said. Alright, enough gushing.

A Perfect Getaway (2009)

A Perfect Getaway (2009)

Directed by: David Twohy
Screenplay by: David Twohy

Genre: Drama | Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 108 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

Let the games begin.

[IMDb]

Comments: I've been interested in A Perfect Getaway since it was first released. It seemed like great escapist entertainment, and I was thinking about going to see the film in theaters the one afternoon until I found out it was pulled after two weeks because no one really gave a shit. I wasn't going to pay $20 to get it on DVD, but I found it used for $5.99 yesterday (which is only $2 more than it would have cost to rent it), so I picked 'er up. Sadly, the movie's not all that entertaining, and only in the last act does Getaway pick up. And by "pick up," I mean turn into a completely different film. It becomes a violent, darkly comedic film filled with one-liners. Most of the film was a drawn-out, unfunny, thriller in the jungle, so the change helped the film out. Timothy Olyphant wasn't bad, as he tends to be a bit wooden in his performances. But the real reason I was disappointed in the film is the "twist."

I have no problems with twists in movies. They can make a film shittier than it was, or even better than you expected. I do, however, have a problem with films that are completely marketed around twists, like A Perfect Getaway. "You won't believe the twist," was how the film was generally described in promo spots. But when a film is marketed as such, that's all I look for throughout the film, which can truly lessen the cinematic experience. That's what happened with A Perfect Getaway (SPOILERS AHEAD, so highlight the text to read them). If you pay attention at all, the twist is revealed in the OPENING FUCKING CREDITS. It's perfectly obvious that both Cliff and Cydney's faces aren't shown in the wedding video. I thought this was odd, then when it was revealed that a murderous couple was on the loose, it was so ungodly obvious. And this is why movies that are marketed on twists are annoying.

Random Thoughts: Oscar Predictions Sure to Go Wrong

I love the Academy Awards. I realize there's a million reasons to hate them, and the "truly great" films never win, but there's just something awesome about the Awards for me. I enjoy watching all the montages of older films (that inevitably makes me want to watch all of them at that exact moment), and all of the clips they show of the newer movies makes me want to watch them all over again.

I'm only going to give my opinion on the main awards, because let's face it, Avatar is going to win every technical award and no one really cares about the Short Film (Live Action) category all that much. I'll put a little (*) by the films I've seen, and give my thoughts on what or who will win, and what or who I'd like to win. Pretty simple, eh? Let's work our way up...










For DOCUMENTARY FEATURE FILM, the nominees are...
Burma VJ, Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller
The Cove, Louie Psihoyos and Fisher Stevens
Food, Inc., Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein
The Most Dangerous Man in America, Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith
Which Way Home, Rebecca Cammisa
What is going to win? Honestly, the only two films I've even heard of prior to this are The Cove and Food, Inc. I have no idea what's going to win, but Food, Inc. was a bestseller on Amazon for awhile so I'll pick that one.
What do I want to win? I have no idea.