The Curse of Blanchard Hill (2006)Directed by: Chris Hazenberg and Zach Klinefelter
Screenplay by: Zach Klinefelter
Genre: Comedy | Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 74 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Rental DVD - Family Video
Raped by nature.
[IMDb]
Comments: So my buddy and I decided to have a good old fashioned shitty horror movie night. While we were perusing our local rental store, a little film called The Curse of Blanchard Hill stood out at us. Why? Raped by nature. What a fucking tagline. How could you turn down a film like that?
I honestly don't know how Chris Hazenberg and Zach Klinefelter can look at this film and want other people to see it. I would be so unbelievably embarrassed. (And why a company, even a low budget horror company, would want to distribute this is beyond me.) The Curse of Blanchard Hill is so excruciatingly awful that it's not even funny. When it tries to be a horror film, it fails. When it tries to be a comedy, it fails. It looks like it was shot with someone's old VHS camcorder. All of the actors have to be friends of the directors, because they're not professionals - that's for sure. Everything about this movie is just... bad. (Don't get me wrong, either - when I rent a film like this, I never expect Oscar-caliber acting, expensive setpieces, or even a halfway decent movie. But I expect to like something about the film, or at least be partially entertained.)
To be honest, I had a lot more in my head that I wanted to write about The Curse of Blanchard Hill, but it's about twenty-four hours later now, and I just don't have the same eagerness to rip into the film now. (I'm also a little bummed because we also rented The Devil's Rock, a film I really wanted to see, but only ended up watching about thirty minutes before we tuckered out. What? I'm an old bastard now. A few more months and I'll officially be in my "late" twenties.) Anyway, I strongly recommend watching The Curse of Blanchard Hill if you're looking for a shitty horror movie night. You certainly can't get much shittier.
I honestly don't know how Chris Hazenberg and Zach Klinefelter can look at this film and want other people to see it. I would be so unbelievably embarrassed. (And why a company, even a low budget horror company, would want to distribute this is beyond me.) The Curse of Blanchard Hill is so excruciatingly awful that it's not even funny. When it tries to be a horror film, it fails. When it tries to be a comedy, it fails. It looks like it was shot with someone's old VHS camcorder. All of the actors have to be friends of the directors, because they're not professionals - that's for sure. Everything about this movie is just... bad. (Don't get me wrong, either - when I rent a film like this, I never expect Oscar-caliber acting, expensive setpieces, or even a halfway decent movie. But I expect to like something about the film, or at least be partially entertained.)
To be honest, I had a lot more in my head that I wanted to write about The Curse of Blanchard Hill, but it's about twenty-four hours later now, and I just don't have the same eagerness to rip into the film now. (I'm also a little bummed because we also rented The Devil's Rock, a film I really wanted to see, but only ended up watching about thirty minutes before we tuckered out. What? I'm an old bastard now. A few more months and I'll officially be in my "late" twenties.) Anyway, I strongly recommend watching The Curse of Blanchard Hill if you're looking for a shitty horror movie night. You certainly can't get much shittier.
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