From a Whisper to a Scream (1987)

From a Whisper to a Scream (1987)

Directed by: Jeff Burr
Screenplay by: C. Courtney Joyner, Darin Scott, and Jeff Burr

Genre: Action | Drama | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 99 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

Fear... times four.

[IMDb]

Comments: I got nothin'.

The Skeptic (2009)

The Skeptic (2009)

Directed by: Tennyson Bardwell
Screenplay by: Tennyson Bardwell

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 89 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

What do you believe?

[IMDb]

Comments: I feel as though if the Lifetime network made horror movies, it would look an awful lot like The Skeptic. C-list actors spewing C-list dialogue in a C-list film. (I do realize Zoe Saldana went on to better things, but she does nothing for this movie.)

I had seen previews for The Skeptic several years ago on a DVD I was watching; it looked interesting but I never really sought it out. When I re-signed up with Netflix, I threw it on my queue while scrolling through the horror section, but it has remained untouched to this day. I didn't plan on watching the film this evening, but when perusing my list for something to watch, The Skeptic popped out at me. I kind of wish it didn't.

There's nothing particularly horrible about the film, but there's absolutely zero things good in it. If it had a few better actors and a more cohesive script, well, it would probably be a completely different movie. And that movie would probably be better. Anyway, enough rambling. Pick something else.

Sinister (2012)

Sinister (2012)

Directed by: Scott Derrickson
Screenplay by: Scott Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill

Genre: Horror | Mystery
Running Time: 110 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Once you see him, nothing can save you.

[IMDb]

Comments: I have been looking forward to catching Sinister for the last two weeks, but for whatever reason (busy one week, lazy the next) I never got around to checking it out. To be honest, I would've rather seen Cloud Atlas today, but the film isn't playing at my local theater so no luck there (it's playing in my hometown, so hopefully I'll get to it within the next two weeks).

The film marks a return to horror for director Scott Derrickson. In 2008 he directed the remake of the The Day the Earth Stood Still, a disappointing film in general and especially when considering his solid 2005 effort, The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Fortunately, Sinister contains much of the effective dread that Derrickson employed in Emily Rose, and as a result I really enjoyed this film. Combining a cool soundtrack, Ethan f'n Hawke, and a generally interesting story, I found myself fully invested in Sinister. Unfortunately, the ending is plagued by the same problem that effects countless other horror films: the revelation of what's going to removes much of the mystery and suspense, and that causes the movie to straddle the line between effectiveness and silliness. In the end though, I bought what Derrickson was selling (even the ending), making Sinister one of the best horror movies of 2012.

Vampire Circus (1972)

Vampire Circus (1972)

Directed by: Robert Young
Screenplay by: Judson Kinberg

Genre: Fantasy | Horror
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

The greatest blood-show on Earth!

[IMDb]

Comments: I really liked the style, story, and overall look of Hammer's 1972 effort, Vampire Circus. But at the same time, I was dreadfully bored during parts of the film. It feels incredibly dated at times, but the overall aesthetic worked. Chunks of the middle act just really drug, even though I was enjoying the film. Vampire Circus is a solid film, just one I don't think I'll be revisiting soon. Also, this is a really shitty and rambling review.

ThanksKilling (2009)

ThanksKilling (2009)

Directed by: Jordan Downey
Screenplay by: Jordan Downey and Kevin Stewart

Genre: Comedy | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 66 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

Gobble, gobble, motherfucker!

[IMDb]

Comments: This is quite possibly the stupidest fucking thing I've ever watched. And I like some stupid shit. But this was not working for me at all.

Hostel: Part III (2011)

Hostel: Part III (2011)

Directed by: Scott Spiegel
Screenplay by: Michael D. Weiss

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

Do you feel lucky?

[IMDb]

Comments: This was pretty fucking terrible. Parts of it weren't bad, but the majority was a joke. Scott Spiegel, you should've stopped with Intruder.

Hostel: Part II (2007)

Hostel: Part II (2007)

Directed by: Eli Roth
Screenplay by: Eli Roth

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 95 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

[IMDb]

Comments: This was actually the first time I've ever watched Hostel: Part II. I'm not sure why it took so long, given my enjoyment of the original installment, but I was excited to finally catch up with it tonight. The film has less of a gritty feel than Hostel, and tends to fall more in the category of a horror comedy at times. Despite my disappointment in the lack of real terror, I found myself enjoying the overall story more this time around. Again, I'm sure that Hostel: Part II isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I certainly enjoyed the ninety minutes I spent here.

Hostel (2005)

Hostel (2005)

Directed by: Eli Roth
Screenplay by: Eli Roth

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 94 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Welcome to your worst nightmare.

[IMDb]

Comments: I've always really enjoyed Eli Roth's Hostel. While it's mainly dismissed for ushering in the "torture porn" era of American horror films (along with Saw), I've tended to think more of this violent little picture. Not that Hostel is high art by any means, but it's enjoyable as shit and simply a fun watch for mildly disturbed individuals such as myself. The one issue I had this time around was with the director's cut, as it was the first time I watched this version. It contains a new ending scene that is really dumb and not nearly as gratifying as the original. In fact, I had to go back and rewatch the original ending just to get the taste of stupidity out of my mouth. It's good that wasn't in the original cut. Regardless, I still like Hostel, so suck it.

Lovely Molly (2011)

Lovely Molly (2011)

Directed by: Eduardo Sánchez
Screenplay by: Eduardo Sánchez and Jamie Nash

Genre: Drama | Horror
Running Time: 99 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

[IMDb]

Comments: After watching The Blair Witch Project last night, it worked out well that one of the directors has a new film that just started streaming on Netflix, Lovely Molly. The movie is about a newlywed woman who (along with her husband) moves into the house she grew up in. She had been abused by her father, and her father/something worse seems intent on haunting the shit out of her... or so it seems. Lovely Molly certainly wasn't perfect, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't really enjoy myself. It's sufficiently creepy in scenes (particularly the first 20-30 minutes), and I dug the ending even if it's a culmination of things I've seen before. Either way, I was a fan of Eduardo Sánchez's recent effort. It's streaming now, so if you're interested I'd give it a look.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Directed by: Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez
Screenplay by: Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 81 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Everything you've heard is true.

[IMDb]

Comments: I was thinking a lot about The Blair Witch Project the other night when I watched Grave Encounters. I've seen a lot of "found footage" films in recent years, but it's been awhile since I've watched this originator of the genre. I liked this movie quite a bit when I was in high school, so I really hoped this was going to hold up for me. Luckily it did, and mainly for the reason I became less interested in Grave Encounters as it moved along: less is more. With ghost and haunted house films, the more you show, the more unrealistic it becomes. If we only see small pieces, however, it is often more effective and creepy. (Humans are afraid of the unknown!) With The Blair Witch Project, you don't get much at all - but it works, and it's effective as fuck. Sure, the actors' constant yelling and bitching gets a tad annoying, but overall, I really enjoyed the film. And yes, there's absolutely no need for something this low budget (and full screen) to be on Blu-ray, but fuck it. It was $5 at Best Buy yesterday. And I can't turn down much when it comes to Blu-rays.

Chopping Mall (1986)

Chopping Mall (1986)

Directed by: Jim Wynorski
Screenplay by: Steve Mitchell and Jim Wynorski

Genre: Comedy | Horror | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 77 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

Where shopping costs you an arm and a leg!

[IMDb]

Comments: OK, listen. Chopping Mall isn't very good, technically speaking. There's about four seconds spent on eight characters (each with a significant other) to establish them, then three-fourths of the couples start fucking, and then here come some mall "security" robots (with fucking lasers?!) that were struck by lightning so now they're bent on killing. The robots' accuracy with their lasers is worse than any group of Stormtroopers I've ever seen. They're fucking robots - how bad can their aim be? And the ease in which shit blows up is amazing, be it propane tanks, elevators, or paint stores. Nothing is fucking safe. Suffice to say, several moments made me laugh at the sheer stupidity of what was occurring onscreen.

But the movie's kind of awesome, too... you know? This was 77 minutes well spent.

Grave Encounters (2011)

Grave Encounters (2011)

Directed by: The Vicious Brothers
Screenplay by: The Vicious Brothers

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 92 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

They were searching for proof... they found it.

[IMDb]

Comments: I've heard a few decent things about Grave Encounters in the past, and having watched shows like Ghost Hunters before, I was eager to check it out. The beginning of the film mainly riffs on what most expect those "ghost hunting" shows to be like behind the scenes: a total scam. However, things don't go exactly as planned, and the asylum the crew is investigating is indeed haunted. I'll admit, Grave Encounters had me for awhile. The film was interesting, moved at a brisk pace, and kept me interested in what was going on. Soon, however, The Vicious Brothers kept getting bigger and bigger with what was occurring, and I soon lost most of my interest. While some scenes certainly worked, a film like this really works better with less. I don't need to see a lot. Let my mind do the work. Instead, we see all this crazy shit over the course of the final act that took me out of the moment. Still, I like Grave Encounters enough to recommend a look. It's well made, even if it's a little too grandiose for its own good.

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Directed by: Drew Goddard
Screenplay by: Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 95 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

You think you know the story.

[IMDb]

Comments: Original review below. I enjoyed The Cabin in the Woods even more the second time around, so while my original thoughts still stand, my rating has gone up. This movie fucking rules.

For the love of science, if you consider yourself a fan of the horror genre at all, go see The Cabin in the Woods. Don't let anyone tell you anything about what you're going to experience over the hour-and-a-half runtime. It's wonderful. Despite being in a theater full of what I thought was going to be loud idiots, everyone was into the crazy awesomeness that was unfolding onscreen, and I barely heard a sound. The film's exciting, violent, and funny as shit. It's a horror fan's wet dream. So yeah, go fucking see The Cabin in the Woods.

The Telling (2009)

The Telling (2008)

Directed by: Nicholas Carpenter
Screenplay by: Joe Lessard

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 84 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

Everyone's dying to be them.

[IMDb]

Comments: Gah, this was fucking terrible. I'm sorry, but if I'm going to watch a horror anthology film that was mostly filmed at the Playboy Mansion, starring a number of Playboy Playmates (including 2/3 of The Girls Next Door), I want this movie to be basically about boobs. Is that too much to ask? Because The Telling desperately needs something going for it, because the acting, writing, and direction is horrible. It's all horrible. Boobs, people. Boobs.

The Possession (2012)

The Possession (2012)

Directed by: Ole Bornedal
Screenplay by: Juliet Snowden and Stiles White

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 92 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

Fear the demon that doesn't fear God.

[IMDb]

Comments: When I decided I would go see The Possession this weekend, I had a fairly good idea that it wasn't going to be very good. Considering the mediocre reviews and the fact that I've seen every "bigger" possession film of the last decade or so, I pretty much was certain there would be nothing new in this film. And there wasn't. Despite this, I was entertained enough by The Possession during my two hours in the theater.

- There were two things I enjoyed about the movie. The first was some of the camerawork and stylistic choices that Ole Bornedal made. Some of the shots looked really good, and the lighting was really well done. In particular, I liked red lighting used toward the end of the film. It gave a mediocre film a bit of style and worth.

- The second thing I enjoyed was Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He's by no means the greatest actor ever, but I always like the guy. His personality is easily relatable, and I always find myself enjoying the oft-mediocre films he's in. (Morgan's also in the upcoming remake Red Dawn, so I'll probably have to go see that now too.)

- By far, the worst aspect is the shitty script. The screenplay has absolutely no flow, and the whole film constantly felt jumpy. There's no real build to the girl's possession, and then BAM! - there's some full force Exorcist shit going on. Plus Kyra Sedgewick's character is awful. She's supposed to be an overprotective and somewhat vindictive ex of Morgan. However, she ends up coming off as a complete cunt due to the writing. I not-so-secretly hoped that she would've been killed during the proceedings.

- And finally, as I realized toward the final act that this film had no hope at actually being good, I was hoping that Bornedal would take The Possession toward the ridiculous rather than the conventional (the film was produced by Sam Raimi, after all). Toward the finale, Morgan picks up a Jewish exorcist dude to rid the demon from his little girl (who the crew had so much demon make-up on that it looked like she was auditioning for one of The Crow sequels). Said exorcist was played by none other than Matisyahu, that Jewish reggae dude who had that one song back in the day. I was really hoping the two would show up to the exorcism bumping this while loading up with yamakas and getting ready to kick some demon ass. Come on, tell me that wouldn't rule.

Hack Job (2011)

Hack Job (2011)

Directed by: James Balsamo
Screenplay by: James Balsamo

Genre: Comedy | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 96 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

Get hacked!

[IMDb]

Comments: After going to a movie, I almost always stop and browse around FYE, a music/movie store located in the same mall. While generally overpriced, they have a wider selection of items than most other physical stores. I like them because they often get in various low budget horror films, like Hack Job. The film didn't look particularly good, but we all know how much I like watching this shit.

Hack Job is terrible beyond words. It's a complete amateurish mess. I "get" that it's supposed to be a bad spoof of horror films, but it fails so terrifically at that. I have no idea why any company looking at this would say, "yeah, this is something we should distribute to people." (Probably because suckers like me will buy it.) Everything is so poorly done that it's hard not to laugh pitifully at James Balsamo (and maybe send him a note that he should try his hand at something else). Yep, this is god-awful.

Maniac (1980)

Maniac (1980)

Directed by: William Lustig
Screenplay by: C.A. Rosenberg and Joe Spinell

Genre: Drama | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 87 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

Run from this man!

[IMDb]

Comments: I started watching Maniac Sunday night but stopped after about thirty minutes or so; I just couldn't get into it. After finishing it up tonight, I'm glad I watched it, but I didn't find too much special about the film. The real star of the film is Tom Savini - not for his small role, but rather for the outstanding gore effects used in the movie. Maniac is downright brutal at times, and that was pretty damn cool. Unfortunately, the rest of the film pales in comparison. It follows co-writer/lead Joe Spinell for the entirety - there's no other character that truly gets established. And I'm sorry, but Spinell's pretty goddamn boring. And he looks way too much like Ron Jeremy. I know a ton of people love Maniac, but it just wasn't for me.

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

Directed by: Barbara Peeters
Screenplay by: William Martin

Genre: Horror | Sci-Fi
Running Time: 80 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Netflix Watch Instantly

From the caverns of the deep... it strikes!

[IMDb]

Comments: For being a bit silly and not all that good, Humanoids from the Deep wasn't a terrible watch. You know you're in for a treat when the name on the title card in the film differs from the box art, but I have to agree that Humanoids from the Deep is a much more fun name than Monster. The film itself was entertaining (although it did remind me of another Roger Corman film, Piranha, quite a bit), and the "humanoids" tearing people apart (and sexing the ladies) was enough to make me not regret wasting eighty minutes on it.

Humanoids from the Deep is another of the expiring titles, too.

Girls Gone Dead (2012)

Girls Gone Dead (2012)

Directed by: Michael Hoffman Jr. and Aaron T. Wells
Screenplay by: Michael Hoffman Jr. and Meghan Jones

Genre: Comedy | Horror
Running Time: 104 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

Just when you thought it was safe to go topless...

[IMDb]

Comments: Girls Gone Dead is what it is. The film throws together a nice sampling of boobage along with some decent violence and a few mildly humorous scenes for a generally entertaining movie. Outside of being 15-20 minutes too long, there's not too much to complain about in this low budget horror-comedy. The lead is played by the gorgeous Katie Peterson, who reminded me of (a younger, hotter) Tara Reid, except only with half the talent (and that's saying something). Watching Ms. Peterson attempting to "cry" was one of the best parts of the movie. She's also the only female lead not to bare the goods, which was a goddamn Greek tragedy (the rest of the cast does, so I can't complain too much). The story is slow at first, but it gradually devolves into pure comedy, and by the final act, absolutely nothing is taken seriously. While there's absolutely nothing new or original, Girls Gone Dead is fun and that's all I really hoped for.

The Living Dead Girl (1982)

The Living Dead Girl (1982)

Directed by: Jean Rollin
Screenplay by: Jean Rollin and Jacques Ralf

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 85 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: I've watched a bunch of Jean Rollin's films over the past few months, and The Living Dead Girl follows a formula similar to many of his previous offerings. There's beautiful ladies, violent deaths, gorgeous cinematography... and not much else. While I've enjoyed nearly all of Rollin's films, I really don't think any of them are great. I know he has a cult following and I understand the appeal, but like The Living Dead Girl, Rollin always just leaves me a little underwhelmed.