Castle - Season Three (2010-2011)

Castle (2009-????)

Created by: Andrew W. Marlowe

Season: Three (2010-2011)
Genre: Crime | Drama | Mystery
Number of Episodes: 24
Episode Running Time: 60 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

Solving murder has never been so much fun.

[IMDb]

Comments: I am so glad that I decided to pick up Season Three of Castle and not just put it off as something I'd watch down the road. After a mediocre first season and second season that steadily improved, I can definitely say that Season Three was excellent - well, as excellent as a "case of the week" show can be. There's certainly a fair share of filler here - episodes that only serve to pad out a 20+ episode season (which is why I love channels that prefer 13 episode seasons; it's a great number). But when the episodes of Castle were on target, the show was awesome. The Castle-Beckett dynamic was superb; granted, there's not too much longer they can delay the inevitable romance without annoying viewers. And once that occurs, shows tend to lose a step if the whole thing isn't handled properly. Here's hoping that it is.

Anyway, it's time to catch up on Season Four so I can start watching the show on a weekly basis. Often, that ruins the spark the show had for me - not being able to feast on multiple episodes on a nightly basis. But after the awesome season finale, I just have to see how everything plays out. So... I'm done here.

But one last thing: My immense lack of posting is due to the fact that I've been watching Castle instead of movies. However, I have a backlog of Blu-rays to watch that I picked up over Black Friday... but I also have the complete series of both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel that I picked up. So... posting may be rather infrequent at times. Not that it matters anyway, because who reads this shit to begin with?

Bridesmaids (2011)

Bridesmaids (2011)

Directed by: Paul Feig
Screenplay by: Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo

Genre: Comedy | Drama | Romance
Running Time: 125 Minutes (Theatrical Cut)
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Save the date.

[IMDb]

Comments: Just a few quick thoughts, because I'm not really in the blabbering mood at the moment:

- I definitely see why many called Bridesmaids a "female Hangover." It has a few of the outlandish and gross-out moments that made The Hangover such a funny film, but it's just not as funny. However, there's a ton more depth to Bridesmaids - so much so that I enjoyed the dramatic aspects much more than the comedic elements.

- Chris O'Dowd FTW. It's great to see my boy from The IT Crowd get such a big role in a feature film. He has a smaller performance in Dinner for Schmucks, but he's clearly the male lead in this film. And he's awesome.

- Speaking of awesome, I'm pretty sure Jon Hamm is the best character in the film - even though he's in it for a grand total of about five minutes.

- Kristen Wiig tended to annoy me before, but I really enjoyed her performance in the film (she also co-wrote it). Like I mentioned before, I really enjoyed the more dramatic moments, and Wiig was great in them.

- Also, I realize Wiig doesn't want to do any nude scenes, but as a male viewer all I noticed was that she was wearing a bra in every sex scene she had. I didn't notice it because I wanted to see her topless (which I certainly did); rather, it just looked so awkward during the course of the scene. I know this is somewhat of a sexist argument, but it just annoyed me.

- I'm sure that women will probably enjoy Bridesmaids more than I did, but I still had a fun time. It's certainly a fun watch and a much better follow-up to The Hangover than The Hangover Part II. The dramatic elements are well done and for me, the best part of the film. But there's a little something for everyone, including people who like to see fat chicks taking shits in sinks.

Castle - Season Two (2009-2010)

Castle (2009-????)

Created by: Andrew W. Marlowe

Season: Two (2009-2010)
Genre: Crime | Drama | Mystery
Number of Episodes: 24
Episode Running Time: 60 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

She's armed. He's dangerous.

[IMDb]

Comments: Granted, it took me nearly two months to watch Season Two of Castle, but it took me awhile to completely warm up to the show. I love Nathan Fillion, I love the chemistry he has with Stana Katic, and I love their witty banter and unending flirtations, but the "case of the week" aspect drove me crazy. Around two-thirds of the way through the season I took a break and went back to watching other stuff (including The Walking Dead, which is awesome). When I started watching episodes again, it happened to coincide with the show runners really amping up the sexual tension between Fillion and Katic, including the love triangle-esque plot that ran over the last few episodes, which immediately piqued my interest. As everyone knows, I'm a sucker for television romance, so I'm finally understanding why everyone else loves the Castle-Beckett dynamic. I'm sure I'll start to get weary during the middle of Season Three (which I'll likely dive into this weekend) with every goddamn by-the-books "case of the week" episode, but if they can maintain the high level of romance between the leads, I can overlook that.

Speaking of Season Three, I picked it up this weekend at Target for $20. They have a number of ABC shows on sale, and all of them came with $10 coupons for the other recently released ABC seasons. So with the $10 coupon, I picked up Season Seven of Grey's Anatomy for $10 (don't fucking judge me), and with that $10 coupon I picked up the first season of Body of Lies for FREE (it was on sale for only $10; I've never seen the show, but what-the-fuck-ever, it's free), and with that $10 coupon I bought the complete series of Off the Map also for free (it too was on sale for $10; it's a mid-season 13 episode drama about doctors in the jungle that got cancelled, but what-the-fuck-ever, it was free). So yeah, that's what I do with my weekends.

House (1977)

House (1977)

Directed by: Nobuhiko Ohbayashi
Screenplay by: Chiho Katsura

Genre: Comedy | Fantasy | Horror
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

[IMDb]

Comments: I have no idea what the fuck I just watched. It was pretty awesome, that much I can tell you. But really, I can't even begin to comprehend how much acid was dropped while making this film.

Also Known As: Hausu

Braveheart (1995)

Braveheart (1995)

Directed by: Mel Gibson
Screenplay by: Randall Wallace

Genre: Action | Biography | Drama | History | War
Running Time: 177 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

What kind of man would defy a king?

[IMDb]

Comments: I loved Braveheart growing up. It was one of, if not my favorite movie at the time. It was one of the few VHS tapes I owned, and one that got plenty of use (come to think of it, it's only one of three films I've owned on VHS, DVD, and Blu-ray - the other two are American Beauty and Fight Club). I just loved everything about the film. However, it's been several years since I've laid eyes on Mel and company, so I decided to give it a whirl this afternoon, and holy fuck, do I still love this movie. Braveheart is emotion. Every scene, every note in the score, every look the actors give - emotion just pours out. If you can't tell, I love this movie as much as I ever did.

Repulsion (1965)

Repulsion (1965)

Directed by: Roman Polanski
Screenplay by: Roman Polanski and Gérard Brach

Genre: Drama | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 105 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: TCM HD

The nightmare world of a virgin's dreams becomes the screen's
  shocking reality!

[IMDb]

Comments: I've heard so many good things about Repulsion over the years that I jumped at the chance to record the film on TCM, which was played on Halloween evening. But I won't lie - I found this film very difficult to get into during the first hour. It's extremely slow, none of the characters are particularly likable, and nothing of note really occurs. We just see Catherine Deneuve slowly slipping into madness. Speaking of Deneuve, I had a hard time believing her early on, as she seemed more mentally retarded then psychotic (I realize that's not the PC thing to say, but that's what I kept thinking while watching her). However, once we get into the "meat" of the story, I started to understand why Repulsion has such a devoted fanbase. The last half of the film is excellent, from the portrayal of madness to Polanski's camerawork. Once the final image of Repulsion leaves the screen, the viewer begins to understand why Deneuve is how she is, and why she acts like she does early on. If I ever watch Repulsion again, it will definitely be to my advantage to have this knowledge of her character. It may make the film the masterpiece for me that it is for many.

The Walking Dead - Season One (2010)

The Walking Dead (2010-????)

Developed by: Frank Darabont

Season: One (2010)
Genre: Drama | Horror | Thriller
Number of Episodes: 6
Episode Running Time: 60 Minutes
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

[IMDb]

Comments: I've been kind of slacking this month in terms of what I've been watching. Granted, that means I've been up to date with my DVR (except for Season Two of The Walking Dead), but I haven't been venturing to the theaters much or delving into my growing Blu-ray collection. (But seriously, my theatrical options for films this weekend are Immortals and A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas... I'll pass. I would have seen In Time, but that shit got yanked from my theater already.) So anyway, I really wanted to catch up on The Walking Dead during my three-day Veteran's Day weekend. I caught two episodes when it first premiered last year and loved it; however, the remaining four episodes were condemned to rot on my DVR because I'm an asshole. Eventually, it got to the point where I ended up deleting them because it had been months since those first two episodes, and I knew I'd end up buying it on Blu-ray anyway.

The show itself? It's fucking awesome. After watching episodes of Castle on and off for the last few weeks, it's so refreshing to watch a television show that isn't a "case/monster of the week" type deal. Granted, there's only six episodes, but they're wonderful and totally worth your time. I watched four Thursday night and the remaining two this morning, as soon as I woke up. Plus, I've already burned through three of Season Two's four episodes this afternoon, and I just love how the show plays out. Nothing's rushed, and everything takes it's time, but never to the point of boredom. This shit rules.

Red State (2011)

Red State (2011)

Directed by: Kevin Smith
Screenplay by: Kevin Smith

Genre: Action | Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Fear God.

[IMDb]

Comments: I've been so excited to see Kevin Smith's Red State for months now. I'm an unabashed Kevin Smith fan (I skipped Cop Out, but love everything else) and I love horror films. So what's not to love about this film? Plus, you add in the great talents of John Goodman, Stephen Root, and Melissa Leo? Sold.

- First things first: this is NOT a horror film. Not even close. There's a few elements of horror at the beginning, and pretty much every character in the movie is horrible, but that's where the similarities end.

- Michael Parks and John Goodman completely own this film. The other actors were very good too, but these two just swept the floor with everyone else.

- I can't be the only one that was reminded of No Country for Old Men, can I? The whole second half of the film reminded me of the unpredictability and stylistic changes of the Coen Brothers' masterpiece. Don't get me wrong, Red State isn't nearly as good as that film, but it has a very similar feel.

- Another reason that I wanted to watch Red State is because it was the main film discussed on the Filmspotting podcast last week (which I'll be listening to on my drive into my hometown this weekend). I can't recommend Filmspotting enough; it's a great podcast.

- This is the first film I've seen Kyle Gallner (Jennifer's Body, A Nightmare on Elm Street) in where he didn't completely annoy me. Dude showed off some great acting chops in this film.

- Did I mention John Goodman owns?

- I definitely am recommending Red State. Hardcore Kevin Smith fans may not like it; hardcore cinema fans may not like it. But fuck them, because I liked it. Kevin Smith may be a bit douchey, but he makes some great films (the ones that he writes, at least). Go see it.

The Woman in Black (2012) -- Trailer

The first time I saw this trailer, I thought, "Fuck, that Harry Potter kid is making shitty movies now." The second time I saw this trailer, I thought, "Holy shit, this movie looks amazing!" I'll be honest, the last few Harry Potter films have looked pretty decent, but I've never watched any of them. However, The Woman in Black looks like it could be a really solid horror film. Or, it could be a fucking abomination. But I guess we'll see. And I'll probably see it either way.

The Ring Two (2005)

The Ring Two (2005)

Directed by: Hideo Nakata
Screenplay by: Ehren Kruger

Genre: Drama | Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 128 Minutes (Unrated Cut)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned DVD

Fear comes full circle.

[IMDb]

Comments: I'm a bit torn about The Ring Two. If I really think about the plot, I can't help but laugh. But director Hideo Nakata (director of the first two Ringu films) treats the material very seriously, which allowed me to look past everything that seems so silly. The film doesn't have the same great look as Verbinski's, and it runs a tad too long, but I otherwise found The Ring Two enjoyable.

It's a little weird trying to get into the Halloween spirit here. First, I'm on call this weekend, so there's been no costume party fun for me. To be honest, even if I wasn't on call, there probably wouldn't have been any parties I went to, because I have no life. Secondly, it just snowed like a bitch here yesterday, so it felt more apropros to watch something like A Christmas Story rather than The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. But even if I tried to get into that Halloween spirit, holidays stopped being awesome years ago, sadly.

I'm not your fucking Mommy.

The Ring (2002)

The Ring (2002)

Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Screenplay by: Ehren Kruger

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 115 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Owned DVD

Before you die, you see the ring.

[IMDb]

Comments: Without a doubt, the best thing about The Ring is the direction of Gore Verbinski. The film looks stunning, and is just plain fun to watch. The color schemes, the dreariness - it all works. In fact, had it not been for Verbinski's approach and overall seriousness he took with The Ring, this film could easily have been awful. The core storyline (to me) is completely silly and ridiculous. There were a couple of times where I wondered if I was supposed to take this "scary" material seriously, yet somehow Verbinski made it all work (and wonderfully so). (Also, I haven't seen Ringu so I can't compare the films.) (Wow, how many parentheses can I use in one shitty review? That's the real mystery.) Anyway, The Ring is incredibly solid despite the storyline, and worth your time (although many have probably seen the film already). And now, it's what everyone's been looking forward to: sequel time!

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Directed by: Joe Johnston
Screenplay by: Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely

Genre: Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi
Running Time: 124 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

When patriots become heroes.

[IMDb]

Comments: In terms of movies, horror films are probably my favorite. Behind them (off the top of my head) are likely depressive dramas and superhero films. I love a good superhero movie. This year's best was definitely Thor and X-Men: First Class, but Captain America: The First Avenger isn't too far behind those two.

- This is Chris Evans' second stint as a superhero, as he was Johnny Storm in the Fantastic Four films. He's alright as the lead, but I tend to prefer him in a more supporting role (à la Sunshine or Street Kings). He's best in smaller doses.

- I really liked Tommy Lee Jones here. There's also some great supporting actors throughout: the under-used Neal McDonough, Toby Jones, and Stanley Tucci. Those are some great character actors right there.

- The film is at its peak in the first hour or so, culminating with Evans' one man rescue mission of the 400 soldiers at a HYDRA base. Once Evans becomes Captain America, the film tends to fizzle out and lose some of its appeal. It quickly becomes standard superhero fare.

- I won't lie, I'm simultaneously very excited and worried for The Avengers. It's going to be difficult to have a successful film that is able manage each distinctly defined character. However, I do have faith in Joss Whedon, so I think it may be completely awesome.

- Captain America: The First Avenger is a fun movie. Superheroes have been treated better in films, but there's also been a hell of a lot worse. If anything, you need to see this so you're completely prepared for The Avengers. And who doesn't want to see that?

Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2010)

Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2010)

Directed by: Marvin Kren
Screenplay by: Benjamin Hessler

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 64 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

You can run, but you can't hide.

[IMDb]

Comments: I had heard a few good things about Rammbock for some time now, so when I found it for $7 or so I jumped on the chance to pick it up. I appreciated the small sliver of originality found in the film in a genre that's been beaten to death over the last few years. There's not much I can say bad about the movie. You can tell it has a small budget, but for the most part, it's not a hindrance. The only thing that was truly odd was the short, short runtime. It feels like there was a little bit more that could have been explored with Michael and his German friends when the credits hit at the 58 minute mark. Anyway, Rammbock: Berlin Undead is a solid zombie film and one worth seeking out. It's fun, and won't take up much of your time.

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

Directed by: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman
Screenplay by: Christopher B. Landon

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 85 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

It runs in the family.

[IMDb]

Comments: I read about movies fairly often, so when something comes out, I tend to know a bit about it. For Paranormal Activity 3, I didn't give a shit, and just assumed it was some random ass people like Oren Peli, who made the first film. Then, as I made this post before I left for the theaters, I listed the directors. Henry Joost. Ariel Schulman. Fuck, I know these names. Let me click over to their page and... Catfish?! The guys that made Catfish (a film I did enjoy, real of fake) were hired to direct Paranormal Activity 3? That just seems so weird.

Paranormal Activity 3 was a bit of a letdown. I didn't have high expectations, but I was hoping for something entertaining (which this was, to a degree). My main issue was with how the characters behaved and acted, as on many occasions they only served to further the plot. There's a shitload a visual evidence that would have me getting the fuck out of that house midway through the film, but these characters are content to just keep on chillin'. On thing that I tried to ignore in the first two films that annoyed me here, particularly during the finale, was the main character holding the camera when his family was in danger. Seriously? PUT THE FUCKING CAMERA DOWN AND SAVE YOUR FUCKING FAMILY. I was able to make excuses early on in the series; I'm starting to run out now. Also, the idea behind the ending itself was interesting; however, the execution left me less than impressed.

Paranormal Activity 3 is another one of my great "solid rental for a rainy Friday night" movies. The premise is wearing a bit thin, but it was enjoyable enough. The "scares" are generally well done but nothing I haven't seen before. I like that the writers have kept a continuity between the films, but it's definitely getting to the point where another movie based on the same people would be really pushing the boundaries of belief (look, I realize I'm talking about Paranormal Activity 3). But for what it is, PA3 is fun and a solid rental for a rainy weekend night.

Torso (1973)

Torso (1973)

Directed by: Sergio Martino
Screenplay by: Ernesto Gastaldi and Sergio Martino

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 93 Minutes (Director's Cut)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

Enter... if you dare the bizarre world of the psychosexual mind.

[IMDb]

Comments: I don't have the biggest love affair for the giallo genre. Films like Deep Red, Tenebre, and The New York Ripper are all good films, but I don't hold them in the highest regard like many horror fans do. Still, I've wanted to see Torso for quite some time, mainly for for sleaziness aspect rather than the the fact that it's a respected giallo film (Eli Roth even has an introduction on the Blu-ray). As it turned out, the film was rather tame. While there was certainly some violence and a few topless women, it never came across as over-the-top or exploitative to me (and that's a shame).

The film itself is solid. The last act is rather entertaining, but up until that point it's a bit muddled. There's entirely too many characters (many of which surely were included only to be red herrings), and it took me awhile to remember who was who. Without a doubt, my favorite aspect was the music that played while the killer did his business (it can be heard on the Blu-ray menu as well). I just wish it was played more throughout the film.

I did a quick search and found this "unofficial" trailer on Youtube. It uses the main them I was talking about. It's awesome! Be warned: there's nudity, a little violence, and some slight spoilers in it.

Also Known As: Carnal Violence, I Corpi Presentano Tracce di Violenza Carnale

The Thing (1982)

The Thing (1982)

Directed by: John Carpenter
Screenplay by: Bill Lancaster

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 109 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

The ultimate in alien terror.

[IMDb]

Comments: Just a few quick thoughts this evening: I appreciated The Thing so much more the second time around. It's such a great piece of filmmaking; it appeals to horror fans along with those that just appreciate good cinema. The score, the atmosphere - everything just works. And yeah, fuck you too.

Mask Maker (2010)

Mask Maker (2010)

Directed by: Griff Furst
Screenplay by: Eric Miller and Griff Furst

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 94 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Rental DVD - Family Video

Meet your maker.

[IMDb]

Comments: I'll always grab one or two shitty horror titles when I rent a few movies, so for this weekend, it was Griff Furst's Mask Maker. The reason I picked this one over the huge stock of low-rent horror titles at Family Video was that I almost bought the film at Walmart a few weeks ago. I do that from time to time with cheap horror movies, and it's almost always a terrible idea. With Mask Maker, however, it wouldn't have been completely worthless.

Mask Maker is probably the best low budget horror film I've seen in awhile. The story is clichéd and has been done A MILLION times, but I liked the actors and thought they had great chemistry together. I also thought the dialogue was realistic, and the opening act felt like how a boyfriend and girlfriend would speak and act with each other. Essentially, it just wasn't a steaming pile of shit that was only there to set up the horror aspect. Because of this, I was interested in the characters and said clichéd story. It's amazing how writing a somewhat competent script and hiring believable actors will cause the audience to become invested in the story rather that just watching for the tits and gore (which is what I was doing originally).

Now, as the movie goes on, it does get more and more predictable, the characters start acting more stupid so they can get killed for our viewing pleasure, and I gradually lost interest in the film. I was a little disappointed with that, but overall Mask Maker far exceeded my expectations. For the $1 I spent to rent it, I felt that I got my money's worth. If you like these sort of shitty horror movies, feel free to give this one a chance.

The Thing (2011)

The Thing (2011)

Directed by: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.
Screenplay by: Eric Heisserer

Genre: Horror | Mystery | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 103 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

It's not human. Yet.

[IMDb]

Comments: I really wish I would have watched John Carpenter's classic film before taking in the prequel. It's been a few years since I've seen The Thing, so I really can't compare the two plotlines because I don't remember much. I can tell you that the end of this film syncs up perfectly with the beginning of Carpenter's, but that's about it. As for the film itself, The Thing was an entertaining Saturday evening excursion, but not much more. It lacks a lot of the suspense and atmosphere that made the original great. The effects were pretty cool, the acting was alright, but there's really nothing that stood out or made The Thing memorable. It'll make a good rental for a nice wintry night double-feature with Carpenter's version, but that's about as much of a recommendation as I can give.

EDIT: Apparently, I watched John Carpenter's The Thing about a year-and-a-half ago, but I'm also an idiot and forget things easily. I could've sworn it was longer than that, but whatever.

EDIT, Part Deux: After re-watching Carpenter's version, it's really neat how everything about the 2011 version tied into it. The ax in the wall that Kurt Russell looks at when exploring the Norwegian camp? It was put there toward the end of this film. Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.'s attention to detail is really cool, in an era where continuity doesn't always mean shit to writers and directors.

The Ides of March (2011)

The Ides of March (2011)

Directed by: George Clooney
Screenplay by: George Clooney, Grant Heslov, and Beau Willimon

Genre: Drama
Running Time: 101 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Ambition seduces. Power corrupts.

[IMDb]

Comments: You'll notice that I tend to write less for films that I love. It's mainly because I like to try to be at least somewhat humorous, and that's so much easier when the movie is terrible. Plus, it's more fun that way. So for The Ides of March, all I really want to say is: Go see it. It's fucking awesome.

OK, I'll try to write a little more. Sure, the film becomes less realistic and more melodramatic as it goes along, but it reeled me right in and I was dying to see how it would conclude. What path would Ryan Gosling would choose? The performances are stellar (what an amazing cast!), the dialogue is terrific, and the storyline is both engaging and entertaining. None of the characters are particularly likeable or heroic, yet they are all interesting and captivating, and I was constantly interested by the angles they played and what their individual motives were. I think I've spewed enough praise toward George Clooney's The Ides of March, so I'll leave you with this: Go see it. It's fucking awesome.

Hall Pass (2011)

Hall Pass (2011)

Directed by: Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly
Screenplay by: Pete Jones, Peter Farrelly, Kevin Barnett, and Bobby
  Farrelly

Genre: Comedy | Romance
Running Time: 111 Minutes (Extended Cut)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Rental Blu-ray - Family Video

One week. No rules.

[IMDb]

Comments: I realize Hall Pass got pretty much destroyed by critics, but I tend to enjoy the male-camaraderie/incredibly juvenile genre of comedies (see: Time Machine, Hot Tub), so I figured I'd give the film a whirl. I'm glad I did, because while I can see film purists hating Hall Pass, I really enjoyed it for what it was.

- The absolute worst part of the film was the seemingly unending string of promotions. Listen, I realize that with product placements, you can help finance your movie. It's something I've been noticing more and more in television shows - it started with Subway in Chuck (which I didn't mind as much, because it seriously helped save the show), and then got worse in White Collar and The Glades (the Ford and Kia advertisements in the middle of the show made me want to gouge my eyes out; they were that bad). In Hall Pass, not only do we get to hear the wonders of the Honda Odyssey, but we also get to hear about how Applebee's has the best steaks and how you can fit a $5 footlong sub from Subway in a purse. It's fucking annoying, distracting, and a disservice to anyone that would consider themselves a true artist. Granted, Hall Pass isn't art, but the Farrelly Brothers shouldn't be proud anyway.

- Owen Wilson's nose freaks me the fuck out. It's the only thing I noticed in every scene that he's in.

- Nicky Whelan. Jesus titty-fucking Christ on a cross. I mean, wow. Just Google her and see her in all her glory. That is all.

- Jenna Fischer, cute as she is, feels out of place in the film. Perhaps I just know her all too well a Pam from The Office, or maybe she's just not good enough of an actress to distinguish herself from that character (because I have no problem seeing Rainn Wilson as characters other than Dwight). Either way, I guess I just like her playing quieter roles, like on The Office. She just didn't click for me.

- Joy Behar? Oh, Farrelly Brothers, go fuck yourselves. What an annoying waste of space to cast in your film.

- There's absolutely no hint of drama anywhere. It feels like there's a big scene coming at the end for both couples (Wilson and Fischer, along with Jason Sudeikis and Christina Applegate), but everything that occurred over the course of the film is mostly played for laughs. On one hand I'm fine with that, but I guess part of me has been conditioned by Judd Apatow over the years so I just tend to expect something a little more.

- Stephen Merchant FTW! It's like The Office coming full circle with him and Jenna Fischer in the film together.

- I know I'm mainly listing things I didn't like about Hall Pass (except for the goddess that is Nicky Whelan), but I did enjoy the film. It's funny and made me laugh out loud a few times, and that's pretty much all I hoped for (maybe a little drama and possibly a gigantic black cock - oh wait, we got that last one!). I can see people shitting on the film and I completely understand why, but it served its purpose for me, so I'm not complaining.