Hall Pass (2011)

Hall Pass (2011)

Directed by: Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly
Screenplay by: Pete Jones, Peter Farrelly, Kevin Barnett, and Bobby
  Farrelly

Genre: Comedy | Romance
Running Time: 111 Minutes (Extended Cut)
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Viewed: Rental Blu-ray - Family Video

One week. No rules.

[IMDb]

Comments: I realize Hall Pass got pretty much destroyed by critics, but I tend to enjoy the male-camaraderie/incredibly juvenile genre of comedies (see: Time Machine, Hot Tub), so I figured I'd give the film a whirl. I'm glad I did, because while I can see film purists hating Hall Pass, I really enjoyed it for what it was.

- The absolute worst part of the film was the seemingly unending string of promotions. Listen, I realize that with product placements, you can help finance your movie. It's something I've been noticing more and more in television shows - it started with Subway in Chuck (which I didn't mind as much, because it seriously helped save the show), and then got worse in White Collar and The Glades (the Ford and Kia advertisements in the middle of the show made me want to gouge my eyes out; they were that bad). In Hall Pass, not only do we get to hear the wonders of the Honda Odyssey, but we also get to hear about how Applebee's has the best steaks and how you can fit a $5 footlong sub from Subway in a purse. It's fucking annoying, distracting, and a disservice to anyone that would consider themselves a true artist. Granted, Hall Pass isn't art, but the Farrelly Brothers shouldn't be proud anyway.

- Owen Wilson's nose freaks me the fuck out. It's the only thing I noticed in every scene that he's in.

- Nicky Whelan. Jesus titty-fucking Christ on a cross. I mean, wow. Just Google her and see her in all her glory. That is all.

- Jenna Fischer, cute as she is, feels out of place in the film. Perhaps I just know her all too well a Pam from The Office, or maybe she's just not good enough of an actress to distinguish herself from that character (because I have no problem seeing Rainn Wilson as characters other than Dwight). Either way, I guess I just like her playing quieter roles, like on The Office. She just didn't click for me.

- Joy Behar? Oh, Farrelly Brothers, go fuck yourselves. What an annoying waste of space to cast in your film.

- There's absolutely no hint of drama anywhere. It feels like there's a big scene coming at the end for both couples (Wilson and Fischer, along with Jason Sudeikis and Christina Applegate), but everything that occurred over the course of the film is mostly played for laughs. On one hand I'm fine with that, but I guess part of me has been conditioned by Judd Apatow over the years so I just tend to expect something a little more.

- Stephen Merchant FTW! It's like The Office coming full circle with him and Jenna Fischer in the film together.

- I know I'm mainly listing things I didn't like about Hall Pass (except for the goddess that is Nicky Whelan), but I did enjoy the film. It's funny and made me laugh out loud a few times, and that's pretty much all I hoped for (maybe a little drama and possibly a gigantic black cock - oh wait, we got that last one!). I can see people shitting on the film and I completely understand why, but it served its purpose for me, so I'm not complaining.

Hesher (2010)

Hesher (2010)

Directed by: Spencer Susser
Screenplay by: Spencer Susser and David Michôd

Genre: Drama
Running Time: 106 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Rental DVD - Family Video

Sometimes life gives you the finger and sometimes it gives you...

[IMDb]

Comments: I had wanted to see Hesher for some time now, but the damn Blu-ray has been so expensive since it came out that I never got around to buying it. So tonight, I decided to rent the fucker, and I'm really glad I did. This is a great, albeit a little crazy, film.

- I was really worried I had figured Hesher out early on and not in a good way. Early on in the film, the way Hesher (played marvelously - as if there was any doubt - by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) interacts with the main character TJ, it's as if Hesher is a figment of his imagination to help him deal with the death of his mother. I really hoped this wasn't what was happening, because it would have made for a terrible film. Slowly, Hesher starts to interact more with the rest of the cast and I realized I was mistaken with my initial worries. That idea had nothing to do with the film, which is why I'm bringing it up. Maybe I'm not the only one who noticed that?

- I really, really like Rainn Wilson. Sure, everyone knows him as Dwight, but his roles lately in films like Hesher and Super have really piqued my interest in what he'll do once The Office ends. Sure, his only leading Hollywood vehicle The Rocker tanked pretty horribly, but if he builds up a resume of films like those, there's no telling what he'll go on to accomplish.

- Natalie Portman was solid as always in her supporting role. Her character is a little off, but it generally plays well in the overall bizarreness of Hesher. Plus, she's cute as hell even with those terrible glasses, so I didn't really give a fuck what her character was like.

- Hesher is a strange film, but goddammit if it doesn't work. It's pretty funny at times, really sad at others, and there's that great "what the fuck?" element with the random things Hesher does that help keeps the film fresh and interesting. Definitely recommended.

The Avengers (2012) -- Trailer

This could be completely fucking awesome or a complete disaster. But since it's co-written and directed by Joss Whedon, I'm leaning toward the former.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Directed by: Adam Marcus
Screenplay by: Dean Lorey and Jay Huguely

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 91 Minutes (Unrated Cut)
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

Evil has finally found a home.

[IMDb]

Comments: The Friday the 13th series is always fun to watch. It's just too bad that just about all of them... are terrible. The only awesome scene was when Freddy's hand reached out and grabbed Jason's mask. That's it.

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Directed by: Rob Zombie
Screenplay by: Rob Zombie

Genre: Adventure | Comedy | Horror
Running Time: 89 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

The most shocking tale of carnage ever seen.

[IMDb]

Comments: I love House of 1000 Corpses (and pretty much everything Rob Zombie's made). It's by no means a great film, but it's fun and entertaining homage to some great horror films of yesteryear.

- This is the first time I've watched the film knowing who Rainn Wilson was. The last time I watched the film, I hadn't begun watching The Office, so I didn't realize how awesome Rainn was (not to mention the mind-bogglingly awesome film Super he starred in last year). Plus it has Chris Hardwick (he of Singled Out fame), who hosts The Nerdist Podcast, one of my favorites to listen to (he's had both Rob Zombie and Rainn Wilson on as guests before).

- Dear Jesus do I still love Sheri Moon Zombie. I had hoped when I saw Rob Zombie in concert last year that she'd be there. Alas, she wasn't (she may have, but she never made an appearance on stage). She's just so fucking sexy and psychotic. It's awesome.

- Walton Goggins FTW!

- I re-bought House of 1000 Corpses on Blu-ray a few weeks ago (a two-pack with The Devil's Rejects), and damn it looks good. I'd like to pick up both of Zombie's Halloween films as well, but the price hasn't been right yet (yes, I enjoyed those two films also).

- I guess Zombie's next film will be The Lords of Salem. Needless to say, I'm very excited for that.

- By now, I'm sure everyone that's seen House of 1000 Corpses either hates it or loves it. I fall into the latter camp, and that's pretty much all you need to know. Dr. Satan!

Stake Land (2010)

Stake Land (2010)

Directed by: Jim Mickle
Screenplay by: Nick Damici and Jim Mickle

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 98 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

The most dangerous thing is to be alive.

[IMDb]

Comments: Stake Land is a solid follow-up to Jim Mickle's equally-impressive debut Mulberry Street. Both movies are gorgeously filmed, making one believe Mickle is a much more seasoned auteur than he actually is. My one complaint was the lack of a truly interesting storyline, outside of the awesome post-apocalyptic world that Mickle and co-writer/star Nick Damici envisioned. There's just not any sort of arc that kept me invested in these characters. On the bright side, one of my favorite horror actresses popped up, the ever charming Danielle "The People's Eyebrow" Harris (of Halloween fame - both the old and the new series). Sure, her right eyebrow is permanently raised an inch higher than the left, but that doesn't mean she's not a cute little ball of awesomeness. Anyway, Stake Land is a fine film, and worth your time.

Piranha (2010)

Piranha (2010)

Directed by: Alexandre Aja
Screenplay by: Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg

Genre: Action | Horror | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned Blu-ray

There's something in the water.

[IMDb]

Comments: It's been over a year since I originally watched Piranha, and while I enjoyed it a bit more this time, my thoughts remained generally the same. Because I'm a lazy shithead, and because I want to watch Stake Land, here's my original review:

Alexandre Aja was a horror director on the rise. After his very highly-praised High Tension, Aja directed the solid Hills Have Eyes remake. But after the disappointing and very mediocre Mirrors, Aja decided on another remake, this time of Joe Dante's Piranha. The film's been received well and I was looking forward to it. But as it turns out, I wasn't that impressed. Sure, there's a lot of violence and nudity (which is always a plus!), but it just felt like Aja was trying too hard to make it a "B" movie. There were a few awesome moments (like when Ving Rhames took the propeller off of a boat and used it as a weapon against the piranha), but there were so many goofy moments as well (the entire end of the film made me dumber). There's a surprising amount of recognizable people in the film, but for the most part the acting's awful (the plethora of cheesy dialogue certainly didn't help). Piranha is a fun movie and I enjoyed myself, but Aja tries way too hard to make a cult classic out of a mostly Hollywood-esque horror film. Better luck next time, Alexandre (which will be next year, for Piranha 2).

So, quick side note: I made a few small grammatical changes to the original review. I'm a shitty writer, what can I say? Also, there will be a sequel out this year entitled Piranha 3DD, but Aja is not attached. The actors returning include Ving Rhames and Christopher Lloyd, and they're joined by... yes, Gary Busey and David Hasselhoff (playing himself). Odds that The Hoff gets eaten?

Dream House (2011)

Dream House (2011)

Directed by: Jim Sheridan
Screenplay by: David Loucka

Genre: Drama | Mystery | Thriller
Running Time: 92 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

Once upon a time, there were two little girls who lived in a house.

[IMDb]

Comments: I think I could write a book on Dream Home and what a complete waste of potential it is. Some parts of the film are engaging and I and couldn't wait to see what happened next; others are so mind-numbingly awful that I struggled to understand what the hell the people making the film were thinking.

- I think the first thing everyone should know is that Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, and director Jim Sheridan want nothing to do with Dream House. Apparently, the production company Morgan Creek made edits to the film without Sheridan's approval. While I don't know for sure if they are the work of Morgan Creek, there's definitely some questionable edits that are blatantly obvious. There's one scene early on, when Daniel Craig sees a man outside his house. Craig chases after him and slides down a hill deep in the backwoods of his house. Somehow, he speaks directly to Weisz, who's on the house's back porch, even though we've seen Craig venture far into the woods. It's pretty noticeable. There's also some obvious overdubbing of characters in the last part of the film that only serve to provide exposition to the audience. I notice this shit all the time in TV shows, but I understand that to an extent because they're on a tight deadline. It's just really bad here.

- The first half of Dream House is fucking terrible. It was so bad that I was debating calling it the worst film I've seen this year. It's incredibly choppy, bouncing around from scene to scene without ever giving us a clear image of what we're watching onscreen, what to expect from these characters, or who they are. After awhile, the film settles in to the core of its plot, and I can see what attracted such known actors to a film like Dream House. It's a shame that Sheridan, Morgan Creek, or who-the-fuck-ever made this film couldn't come up with some kind of cohesive first act.

- Craig and Weisz sound weird with whatever accent they're trying to go for. You'll notice I said the same thing about Craig in Cowboys & Aliens. Note to filmmakers: make Craig a British import in whatever film you're making. I don't care if he's playing Hitler in a movie. He's now Hitler that emigrated from Britain.

- Naomi Watts. Yes please.

- They showed the trailer for Brett Ratner's Tower Heist before Dream House. It features a cast of some of my least favorite actors: Ben Stiller (he's made some good movies, but he really gets on my nerves), post-1990 Eddie Murphy, and Téa Leoni (to be fair, it does have Casey Affleck and Alan Alda in it). Why I am mentioning it? Because they showed the trailer... twice. Ugh.

- Speaking of trailers, a word of warning: the main plot twist that comes halfway through the film is given away in the trailer. I watch trailers often, but somehow I avoided watching the one for Dream House so I was completely in the dark. If you've avoided the trailer so far, keep doing it. It's not an Oldboy-level twist or anything and it's certainly been done before, but it's what renewed my interest in the film after that terrible first act. Had I known what was coming, I definitely wouldn't have been as interested as I was during the last parts of the film.

- Once I saw the core of what Dream House was all about, I really wanted to like this film more than I did. While it would never have been an award winner, it really had the chance to be a solid mystery film instead of the muddled mess it became. I hesitate to even suggest a rental on such a clusterfuck, but I did really like parts of the movie... so I'll leave the decision up to you.

Them (2006)

Them (2006)

Directed by: David Moreau and Xavier Palud
Screenplay by: David Moreau and Xavier Palud

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 77 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

You'll never feel safe in your home again.

[IMDb]

Comments: I love the French. Seriously. How many awesome horror films have come out of that country lately? The list includes Martyrs, High Tension, Inside, and Frontier(s); now I can add Them to the list. Awesome.

- For the longest time I thought that The Strangers was a remake of Them, but after doing some research I found out the films aren't directly related. The two are almost completely different outside of the couple-in-a-deserted-area-being-attacked-by-some-incredibly-coordinated-and-quick-moving-people scenario.

- Plus Dennis Reynolds isn't in Them.

- I hated the stupid epilogue that tells you what happened after the movie ends. Only under certain circumstances do I want to know what happened after the final scene - usually in true stories and biographies. Horror movies? Not so much. It cheapens the final scenes.

- I really liked David Moreau and Xavier Palud's directing. It creates a tense and unnerving feeling throughout Them. The camerawork made me feel that I was right along with the main characters (especially during Clem's attic scene).

- 20 minutes after my last point: I totally started doing something else mid-review, and so now I've completely forgot what I was going to talk about. I'm out, bitches.

Also Known As: Ils

Dead & Buried (1981)

Dead & Buried (1981)

Directed by: Gary Sherman
Screenplay by: Ronald Shusett and Dan O'Bannon

Genre: Horror | Mystery
Running Time: 94 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

It will take your breath away... all of it.

[IMDb]

Comments: Dead & Buried is a solid and very underrated film from the early '80s. The whole style and course the film takes is very reminiscent of 1973's The Wicker Man, where a man struggles to understand what's going on around him in a small town where seemingly everyone else is in on it. Dead & Buried is also played very straight; there's no humor or '80s cheesiness to be found - the latter of which is a certainly good thing. If you haven't seen the film (or even heard of it), I strongly suggest giving it a look. Blue Underground has a pretty snazzy two-disc edition out, although the picture quality isn't the greatest, especially during scenes at night. It appears to me that older DVDs tend to look much shittier on an HDTV than a good ol' CRT beast most of the time, but I'm no A/V junkie. Anyway, you should definitely go check out Dead & Buried.

50/50 (2011)

50/50 (2011)

Directed by: Jonathan Levine
Screenplay by: Will Reiser

Genre: Comedy | Drama
Running Time: 99 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

It takes a pair to beat the odds.

[IMDb]

Comments: Once October 1st rolls around, I normally dive into a month-long horror bender. It's one of my favorite times of the year. However, this year I'm in my hometown and busy, so the annual horror-fest is going to have to wait until next weekend. Instead, I got a chance to go see Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen in the new buddy-cancer-comedy (is that PC?), 50/50.

- This film is JGL's through-and-through. I know Rogen is featured in most of the ads (as he is the biggest star), but he doesn't play much of a role until the final act. JGL is great, and his character is so wonderfully executed, particularly during the dramatic moments.

- Anna Kendrick is slowly becoming one of my favorite actresses. I loved her in Up in the Air, and she continues to impress in 50/50. She may not be the most attractive woman in the world, but she definitely has this I-could-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you-and-all-your-cuteness aspect about her. Or maybe that's just apparent to me. Either way, she's awesome.

- Seth Rogen was... Seth Rogen. His shtick is slowly wearing on me, and he's going to need to have a few different roles soon. Rogen has some great moments (I really enjoyed the scenes with him, JGL, and Bryce Dallas Howard), but he is the exact same character in every movie he's in.

- The last act of 50/50 was excellent. The pacing and fluidity was off at times early on, but the final act was worth the price of admission. I have no problem admitting that I cried like a bitch during JGL's scene in the Jeep. It was wonderful.

- If you're at all a fan of the Apatow-style of films, 50/50 will be right up your alley. It's a great film that successfully balances the funny and dramatic. I really wanted to see Dream House as well this weekend, but I'm so glad I spent my time here. It was totally worth it.

Castle - Season One (2009)

Castle (2009-????)

Created by: Andrew W. Marlowe

Season: One (2009)
Genre: Crime | Drama | Mystery
Number of Episodes: 10
Episode Running Time: 60 Minutes
Viewed: Owned DVD

A whole new chapter in crime solving.

[IMDb]

Comments: I really wanted to like Castle more than I did. I'm a big Nathan Fillion fan, and he and co-star Stana Katic have an undeniable chemistry together. However, beyond the pairing, the show felt very formulaic and, well, boring. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy myself, but Castle never demanded my attention, and when I finished an episode, I never had the burning desire to fast forward through the credits and begin a new adventure. I am curious to see the relationship of the leads develop over a full second season, but I can see myself tiring of twenty-four Season Two episodes. I guess we'll find out.

And it's nice to see that Castle is a responsible father figure and has a great relationship with his daughter. It's rare to see a man in that position on television.

Straw Dogs (2011)

Straw Dogs (2011)

Directed by: Rod Lurie
Screenplay by: Rod Lurie

Genre: Thriller
Running Time: 110 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Everyone has a breaking point.

[IMDb]

Comments: I know this is weird to say about a film full of rape and violence, but Straw Dogs is a fun film. (Granted, this is coming from me, so of course it's a fucking fun movie!)

- It's been years since I've seen the original, but as best as I can recall the plot is fairly similar to Sam Peckinpah's classic. Sure, there's some subtle changes here and there, but overall nothing major jumped out at me (but I could definitely be wrong about that, it's been awhile).

- Kate Bosworth is FUCKING HOT in this movie. Those damn little outfits they put her in when she goes jogging are ridiculous. I was disappointed (as I assume many men familiar with the original were) that she didn't replicate Susan George's famed topless scene, but even the teasing used during that scene was amazingly sexy. I'm not sure why she didn't go topless, because it's not like she's shy (that's completely NSFW, by the way).

- Another film, another Walton Goggins FTW. Granted, he's in Straw Dogs for a total of about four seconds, but I have to show the man some love.

- Actually, my favorite performance was James Woods. He's so gloriously over-the-top that it takes what could be a very serious movie and just makes it fun for exploitation fans like myself. I really feel like the ideal ending for Straw Dogs would be to have Woods massacre everyone and then bathe nude in their blood as the credits rolled. But that's just me.

- Of the eight films I've watched so far in September, five have been at the theater. I usually go once every week or two, but I've been on a roll this month. I have no point to make here, I just thought it was an interesting observation.

- Did I mention that Kate Bosworth was sexy as shit?

- Straw Dogs is a solid, fun, and worthwhile remake. Rod Lurie is surely no Sam Peckinpah, and the film doesn't certainly doesn't compare to the original, but this outing exceeded just about every expectation I had for it. And really, I couldn't have asked for more.

Drive (2011)

Drive (2011)

Directed by: Nicolas Winding Refn
Screenplay by: Hossein Amini

Genre: Action | Crime | Drama | Thriller
Running Time: 100 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Theater

Some heroes are real.

[IMDb]

Comments: Drive was a very fuckin' cool movie. I'll be honest by saying that it didn't completely live up to my ungodly enormous expectations, but it came pretty damn close. The first half was amazingly well done, as I was giddy with anticipation of what was about to unfold over final half of the film. I can't remember having that feeling during a movie in a long, long time (The Dark Knight comes to mind, and similarly I felt that film didn't quite finish as strongly as it started). Drive is also very brutal, as the violence is turned up to 11 when it's killing time (no complaints from me there; the messier, the better). There's also this odd '80s vibe throughout (as evidenced by the stylized text during the opening credits and the odd music selections throughout the film - that were really great, don't get me wrong). I really enjoyed Drive and highly recommend it. It may not have finished as strong as it started, but it's still a fucking fine piece of cinema.

Contagion (2011)

Contagion (2011)

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh
Screenplay by: Scott Z. Burns

Genre: Drama | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 105 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

Nothing spreads like fear.

[IMDb]

Comments: I'll be traveling to my hometown this weekend to visit some friends and pick up my new laptop (which I dare not ship to my current apartment, where it would just sit outside my door waiting to be taken by my heathen neighbors). If I had my way, I'd also be seeing Warrior (which isn't being shown at my theater here), Drive, and Straw Dogs. I don't think I'll be seeing all three, but taking in two wouldn't be a bad way to spend my time. On top of that, I also really wanted to see Contagion, so I figured why not spend the evening with Steven Soderbergh and his immense cast.

- I really have to give credit to Soderbergh and writer Scott Burns. There's about four thousand characters in this film, and early on, I thought there would be no way I'd become invested in any of them. But despite a brisk pace, I really found myself immersed in Contagion and the vast array of talent on the screen. I was really surprised.

- The only character I didn't enjoy was Jude Law's. I like the actor fine, but his character had no real arc, and was only here to show that some people are insufferable bastards that will exploit individuals no matter what the circumstances. I found myself trying to hurry the scene along when he was onscreen to get back to one of the other, more interesting characters.

- I'm also glad there was no cop-out horror-esque ending. Once we reached a natural resolution to the film in the final few minutes, I just had this sense we were in for a final in-your-face-crazy-twist-now-roll-the-credits-type deal. There wasn't, thankfully.

- Contagion covers the full spectrum of an outbreak, and not just a set of characters during a specified period of time. Normally, I'd take the latter, but the aforementioned script was tight enough that it really worked for me. Also, that's what she said.

- I really enjoyed the film. Contagion surprised me with its scope, along with the ability to keep so many characters interesting to the audience. It's certainly worth catching. (GET IT!? I made a funny!)

Backwoods Bloodbath: Curse of the Black Hodag (2007)

Backwoods Bloodbath: Curse of the Black
  Hodag (2007)

Directed by: Donn Kennedy
Screenplay by: Donn Kennedy and Brandon Semling

Genre: Horror
Running Time: 89 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Backwoods Bloodbath: Curse of the Black Hodag is a pretty fucking bad film, but it's rather hilarious at times. The writing, while ungodly awful, does have some one-liners that made me laugh. What makes it all the funnier is how poorly the lines were delivered by actors who wouldn't know comedic timing if it slapped them across the face. The other thing of note about the film is that the main actress had a body double. Seriously? I just have to laugh at the ridiculousness of some shit $50 actress in some sleazeball horror film who refuses to get naked. That just makes me giggle.

OK, those were only things of interest to me for the first half of the film. I'll be honest, I completely stopped paying attention after awhile. There was some stupid twist, and some people died, and there was some heroic shit at the end... yadda yadda yadda, you get the fucking picture.

Hour of the Wolf (1968)

Hour of the Wolf (1968)

Directed by: Ingmar Bergman
Screenplay by: Ingmar Bergman

Genre: Drama | Horror
Running Time: 90 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Hour of the Wolf is a difficult film to take in. It's extremely surreal and only gets more increasingly bizarre as the events unfold. There are times when Bergman gets very personal, and I started to feel a certain attachment to Hour of the Wolf. But then the film got all crazy again, and it took me out of the moment. (I know I usually love crazy, but it's just different with Hour of the Wolf.) I realize I'm not endearing myself to film purists by criticizing this Bergman film, but what can I say? I wasn't the biggest fan of The Virgin Spring either (I did like it, I just didn't love it), so maybe our styles just don't mesh. Granted, there's still a world of Ingmar Bergman films out there for me to discover, so I guess I won't write off our relationship just yet.

Also Known As: Vargtimmen

Apollo 18 (2011)

Apollo 18 (2011)

Directed by: Gonzalo López-Gallego
Screenplay by: Brian Miller

Genre: Horror | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Running Time: 88 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

There's a reason we've never gone back to the moon.

[IMDb]

Comments: First, I have to give credit to the makers of Apollo 18. No matter how the film turned out, I really think this was a cool concept. I know we've seen the "found footage" film many, many times now. But I really like how Apollo 18 was done and the way the film came together (essentially the overall look and feel of the movie). Now, the story itself could certainly have used some more work. It really drags at times, and does nothing to distance itself from other films in the genre (read: all of the "scary" moments are telegraphed, and I saw the exact same camerawork in Cloverfield). I'm probably being a little generous with the rating, but like I said, I really loved the premise and presentation of Apollo 18. It's probably worth a rental down the line.

Sweet Karma (2009)

Sweet Karma (2009)

Directed by: Andrew Thomas Hunt
Screenplay by: James Fler and Andrew Thomas Hunt

Genre: Crime | Drama | Thriller
Running Time: 85 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R
Viewed: Owned DVD

[IMDb]

Comments: Oh, the stupid shit I buy when wandering around Walmart at 11:30 at night. Actually, I knew Walmart had cut some prices on some of the newer horror films they carry, and I was hoping to score Rammbock: Berlin Undead. Of course, they didn't have that, but then I saw Sweet Karma for $7.50 and a giant wave of "Oh, what the hell!" washed over me. That feeling happens too often.

- The picture quality on this DVD is awful. The film is gritty as hell (I'm sure that was intended), but it's so bad that I had a hard time seeing what was going on during the night scenes (which is like 90% of the movie). It's a little annoying.

- The story is about a woman (named Karma, GET IT?!), who is hell bent on avenging her sister's death. The sister took a "cleaning" job in Canada to help support Karma financially (who lives in Russia) only to find out she was sold to be a drug-addled hooker (sounds like a good time to me, at least). Anyway, she died, and now Karma is out for blood. The best part about all of this is Karma and her sister are supposed to be poor, yet the actress that plays Karma (Shera Bechard) has quite the chest on her, if you catch my drift.

- Speaking of Bechard, I find it funny that her character is mute, simply because she's never been in a film before and is a former Playboy model. I wonder if the decision for Karma not to speak was made before or after Bechard was cast...

- This movie could also be called They Call Her Fivehead. See for yourself.

- Okay, I'm an asshole. Trust me though, I wouldn't be kicking her out of bed.

- Sweet Karma wasn't all that bad. It's not exactly good either, but I enjoy this kind of shit, and Sweet Karma is certainly "that kind of shit." For the most part, it's entertaining, and there's some decent sleaze throughout. It's not worth $7.50, but it may be worth a watch when it's available on Netflix Watch Instantly if you like this sort of thing.

Shark Night 3D (2011)

Shark Night 3D (2011)

Directed by: David R. Ellis
Screenplay by: Will Hayes and Jesse Studenberg

Genre: Horror | Thriller
Running Time: 91 Minutes
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Viewed: Theater

Terror runs deep.

[IMDb]

Comments: Holy flying fuck, Shark Night 3D was terrible. I really was looking forward to the film, as I hoping for a fun, violent, and naked excursion to the cinemas. And then I found out the film was PG-13. Are you fucking kidding me? Not since I discovered that Live Free or Die Hard would be neutered for the almighty dollar was so I so dismayed that studios were pandering to the teeny-boppers that would come see the film. Anyway, Shark Night 3D was not a good film, and the times where it would have been great feel completely worthless due to the lack of excessiveness. The film is essentially a giant case of blue balls. I do encourage you, if you must see Shark Night 3D, to stick around after the credits, because there is a funny music video at the end that really is better than anything the previous ninety minutes offered.